You Shall (Not) Remember
by Shrapnel893
Summary: Human Instrumentality. The destined children; the adults pushing forward. All of them intertwined into one pool of feelings, one vast pool of LCL that they all swim in. This Link Connecting Liquid that all their souls are tied to. Third Impact. Were the Angels really the greatest threat humanity had to face, or, was it Man itself that was always the true enemy?
1. Evangelion Terms and Characters

**Terminology**

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**Equipment and Weapons:**

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**Equipment types:** Various types of equipment have been made for the Eva to help defeat the angels. Different types of equipment include A type, B-type, D-type, and G-type. A-type equipment was introduced in the Rebuild of Evangelion series, when a Nerv officer described the rocket pack on Eva-Unit 02 as "A-type" equipment. B-type equipment is the standard equipment of the Eva Units; not suitable for combat in extreme conditions or under water. D-type equipment is a thick, heat-resistant armor used for sending Evas into extreme conditions. It resembles an old-fashioned diving suit and is fitted with coolant circulation systems.

**A10 nerve clip:** Brain-computer interface devices worn by Eva pilots on their heads which aid in synchronization with the Evas. The Evangelion are controlled mainly by linking with the cranial nerves of the pilot. Of these, the most important is this A^10 nerve. It is associated with higher order brain functions such as memory, cognizance and the execution of movement, and with emotions such as anxiety, fear, happiness and pleasure. In addition, it is also said to play an important role in affection between parent and child, and between lovers.

**Dummy plug:** Artificial pilots that emulate a pilot's thought processes and send signals to the Eva). All the regular Eva units are eventually fitted so they can be operated with either the pilot or the dummy plug. There are two known types of dummy plugs, those loaded with the personal data of Rei Ayanami and those with the personal data of Kaworu Nagisa (the latter was used in the mass production Evangelions).

Among the original Evas, Unit 01 is the only one incompatible with the DPS, which is methodically rejected at every activation attempt after the first one.

In the Rebuild of Evangelion, the Dummy System is labelled as DMSYS and is an expanding control unit that covers the pilot, blocking their view and clamping down on their two joysticks, preventing the pilot from moving them and also did not display any of the outside world to the pilot inside the EVA. The Dummy Plug system was built in Nerv's Golgotha base and deployed to Tokyo-3.

**Entry plug:** Long, cylindrical structures with rounded ends which contain the cockpits for the Evangelions. A pilot enters a plug through a hatch in its center; once the hatch is sealed, the plug is filled with LCL. The plugs are heavily armored and equipped with parachutes and rockets to aid in escape from a badly damaged Eva.

Control from within the entry plugs for activation of the Evas usually consists of voice-commands in conjunction with mental thought, although this is usually done remotely by Nerv personnel. Apparatuses found within the entry plug include two distinctly designed hand-triggers which are used for simple, but delicate, finger movements, such as using firearms. The screens that show the external environment surround the pilot and are picked up by cameras mounted on the Eva's head, and from the eyes of the Eva itself. They also display other information, and are apparently three-dimensional projections. Smaller images can be superimposed over the environmental views for communication between pilots and/or the command station in Central Dogma.

**Core:** The red spherical object that is seen in most of the Angels. Damaging the core would be sufficient to kill the Angel. Cores can be penetrated by progressive knives or by a sufficiently powerful blow in a small area. It is also seen in the Evas.

**AT Field:** Short for "Absolute Terror Field", the AT Field is shown as a barrier that the Angels can erect, which is impervious to almost all conventional weapons. The N² Bomb can penetrate the AT Fields of some Angels, causing moderate damage that can be regenerated in a matter of hours or days, depending on the Angel in question. Certain Angels are completely unaffected by N² bombs. The Evas can also generate their own AT Fields, and can use them to neutralize the Angels' AT Fields through destructive interference. In Rebuild, Unit 01 reconstitutes her left arm using a physical manifestation of its AT Field.

It is revealed that every being has an AT Field, and that it is the literal wall that separates one's identity from other egos and external reality, and which supports one's having a separate existence from others. Thus, it is also the cause of loneliness and pain, and can be related to the so-called "Hedgehog's dilemma" — whereby a person feels (psychological) pain from loneliness, yet paradoxically, the closer he/she gets to someone else (emotionally), the more he/she is 'hurt'.

**Jet Alone:** A nuclear-powered, unmanned robot created by an independent corporation for the Japanese government with the intention of supplanting the Evangelion units. Unlike the Evas, Jet Alone has an on-board nuclear reactor, so it can function without external power for 150 days. However, its control systems were tampered with by agents of Nerv and the unit's first public demonstration nearly ended in a nuclear disaster.

Due to the public embarrassment, the Jet Alone Project was ended.

**Lance of Longinus:** An artifact of great power, and is the only weapon that is specially designed to pierce any AT Field. It resembles a long red spear (Evangelion-sized) that forks near the middle, the two shafts first twisting around themselves to form a helix and then becoming straight.

The Lance was used in a "contact experiment" with Adam, which caused the Angel's awakening and the Second Impact. The Lance is a key piece to the process of Instrumentality. Artificial versions of the Lance are used as the primary weapon for the mass-production Evas, and also feature prominently in the Instrumentality.

In the Rebuild of Evangelion, the classic forked lance is shown impaling Lilith in Central Dogma, just before the battle with Ramiel. Another Lance is shown in 2.0 with a bladed head. It was thrown by evangelion Mark.06, piercing Unit 01 after the credits, stopping Unit 01 transformation and Third Impact.

**LCL:** A yellow-tinted, translucent liquid used to mentally link a pilot with the Evangelion and supply oxygen directly to the lungs when breathed, similar to liquid breathing. Its properties can be altered when it is electrically charged; this includes turning the liquid colorless. It may also help in protecting a pilot from mental attacks and physical shocks. LCL may also be compared to the amniotic fluid in the mother's womb. The blood of Lilith, the captured second Angel held in Terminal Dogma. All humans are composed of LCL, and only given form as separate entities by their own individual AT Fields. Hence, when an individual's AT Field collapses, the body formed by said AT Field dissolves back into LCL.

**Magi supercomputer system:** The bio-computer system designed by Dr. Naoko Akagifor Gehirn. It consists of three interconnected supercomputers, which are named for the traditional names of the Magi who visited Jesus at his birth and are imprinted with different aspects of Akagi's personality through a process she invented. Melchior is the aspect of Akagi as a scientist, Balthasar is the aspect of Akagi as a mother, and Casper is the aspect of Akagi as a woman.

The MAGI supercomputers are used to run Nerv HQ, and in effect, actually "govern" Tokyo-3; the three supercomputers vote amongst themselves to decide on actions for the city, with unanimity required for certain actions like self-destruction (although if two Magi disagree and the third is undecided Nerv personnel will decide what to do). The original set of 3 Magi, which collectively make up the "Magi 01" system, are located at Nerv's First Branch in the Geo-Front. However the various other branches also have their own sets of three Magi supercomputers labeled Magi 02-Magi 06. Magi 02 is located in Matsushiro, Japan(part of the city of Nagano). Magi 03 is located in Berlin, Germany, Magi 04 is located in Boston, Massachusetts, Magi 05 is located in Hamburg, Germany, and Magi 06 in Beijing, China

**N² bomb:** The N² bomb or N² mine is a clean "non-nuclear weapon"; it is as strong as a nuclear bomb and generates some electromagnetic interference but does not produce dangerous radiation or nuclear fallout. It is the most powerful "conventional" weapon used (as opposed to the unconventional Evangelion units). The significant explosive force is capable of harming even an Angel A little over a thousand were produced.

Production notes of the series refer to the N² bombs as the P-bomb, leading to speculation that it might be some sort of positron-based antimatter weapon. Another possibility is that it is a highly efficient pure fusion bomb, with no fission tamper, and thus very little to no radioactive material left over from the reaction, though the initial reaction would produce much radiation.

The devices are apparently deployed in a number of configurations; in the series, there are N² aerial mines, air charges, depth charges and bombs.

**Plug suit:** A form-fitting full body garment which the Eva pilots wear to aid in synchronization with their Evas. The suits are normally bulky but shrink to conform to the pilot's body through a mechanism housed in the wrists of the suits. The suits contain devices which help monitor the pilot's status and give medical aid, such as defibrillation or CPR as well as providing basic life support in the event the entry plug's systems fail. No two suits are alike: each suit bears its corresponding Eva's numerical designation on the chest and back and is roughly color-coordinated with that Eva.

In Rebuild 2.0 there is a test pilot version. This design uses transparent arms and torso piece (with the exception of the chest, to preserve a female wearer's modesty) and it has TEST printed onto the front in place of a numerical designation. It appears to be a unisex design.

**Progressive Knife:** A combat knife, often referred to as a "prog knife", stored in the shoulder "wing" of the Evangelion that uses it. It works by vibrating particles at an extremely high frequency, which allows it to slice an object at the molecular level. There is also an advanced version: once the blade is broken, a button is pressed and another blade is extended from the handle. It resembles a utility knife with a multi-segmented, breakable blade. For the Rebuild of Evangelion, the Progressive Knife has been redesigned into a switchblade, which automatically extends when it is removed from the left arm's utility wing. It has the same function as the original version - the edge of the blade glows and whistles when activated.

**Restraining bolts:** In the Rebuild of Evangelion, the restraining bolts in an Evangelion are mounted into its shoulders and along its spine. They are designed to keep the Eva in "human form". Described as an Eva "abandoning its humanity" and as an Eva's second form. In this form, the Eva's motions become much more fluid and its body is more nimble and it appears to act in an almost "berserker" fashion, an Eva's destructive capabilities are also multiplied several times.

**S² Engine:** The S², or "Super Solenoid Engine", is a limitless source of power originally found in the bodies of the Angels. The S² engine's operation is explained through the Super Solenoid Theory which was developed by Dr. Katsuragi, Misato Katsuragi's father. Being initially deprived of this kind of engine, the Evas must be always connected to an external power source and can only function for one minute to sixteen hours (depending of the Eva's level of activity) using only their internal battery. The terms "S² Organ" and "S² Engine" are interchangeable because the same Japanese word is used for both concepts.

In Evangelion 1.0 it is explained that the S² engine is what allows the Angels to take physical form in the dimension of the humans.

**Umbilical cable:** Evangelions have a massive energy requirement, so much so that for functions beyond pilot life support, their internal batteries' charge only lasts for a maximum of 5 minutes. To deploy Evas for longer periods of time, power cables referred to as "umbilical cables" are inserted into the Evas' backs. Spools containing umbilical cables are located throughout Tokyo-3, so if an Eva extends the cable to its maximum length, it can switch to another one. Evas are capable of reaching behind themselves to attach a new umbilical cable without external help. When Evas are deployed to areas other than Tokyo-3, portable sets of umbilical cables are brought along to connect them to an external power supply. Evas can be voluntarily disconnected from their umbilical cables to provide greater mobility, albeit knowing that they will only have 5 minutes of power. If an umbilical cable is severed during battle, the end plugged into the Eva's back will automatically eject from the Eva so as not to hinder its movements. The plugs located at the tips of umbilical cables contain small thruster rockets; when ejected, the thruster rockets fire just before hitting the ground, to lessen the damage both to the plug itself as well as to whatever is on the ground when the plug hits.

In Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0, EVA 05 is seen using an overhead contact system as its power source, similar to the ones used on certain trains. The power cables from the shoulder pylons are inserted into the EVA's back. This is visible in the Revoltech model as well.

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**Organizations:**

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**Gehirn:** Nerv's predecessor located inside the GeoFront and tasked with research and developement of the Evangelion units and the Magi, amongst other things. Branch 3 is located in Germany. Two other branches are located in the USA, and one probably in China. A minor branch is located in Matsushiro, Japan. Many of its facilities and members would become Nerv personnel later. It was converted into Nerv shortly after Naoko Akagi's death and the MAGI were developed and made operational.

**Japanese Strategic Self Defense Forces (JSSDF):** A special branch of the Japanese Self Defense Forces formed following the outbreak of war after Second Impact. The JSSDF are capable of extended overseas deployment and utilize special weaponry, such as the N² mines and the long range positron rifle.

**Marduk Institute:** A shadowy advisory organization which reports to Seele's Human Instrumentality Project Committee; its function is to select Evangelion pilot candidates ("Children"). Consists of 108 front companies, and is controlled and staffed by Seele. The Institute seems to have a specific selection criteria: Mothers have to be deceased or otherwise somehow missing, with their souls bonded with the Evas that their children pilot.

**Nerv:** An organization led by Gendo Ikari and tasked with defending Earth against the Angels through use of the Evangelion units. It was formerly known as Gehirn, a UN Research Agency. It was reorganized into Nerv once Nerv HQ and Tokyo-3 became fully operational. There are several global branches of Nerv besides the main headquarters under Tokyo-3 itself.

The Nerv Logo is half a fig leaf covering its name, with the motto "God's In His Heaven... All's Right With The World" forming the quarter circle on the bottom.

In _Rebuild of Evangelion_, Nerv has a new symbol, an apple turned upside-down, with the fig-leaf from the old logo superimposed and interrupted by a wave of motion around the apple in a broken, downwards spiral motion. The original logo still appears in some scenes, however. NERV is also bound by the Vatican City treaty, which restricts the number of operational Evangelions a single country can control at any one time.

**Seele:** The secret backers of Gehirn and later Nerv, who wish to implement the Human Instrumentality Project. Consists of at least twelve prominent people. Five of them form the Instrumentality Committee, which directly oversees Nerv's progress, officially in the name of the UN. Its members are referred to as the "Old Men."

Seele is a secret organization, the real puppetmasters behind the United Nations. Its origins are shrouded in mystery; they would claim to have existed since ancient times, functioning as an Illumanti-like power cabal over most of the world's governments. This cannot be verified, but they have been operating since at least soon after World War II, when they acquired the secret sections of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The secret Dead Sea Scrolls predicted the arrival of the Angels and of Third Impact, and Seele began striving to develop means to defeat the Angels so that a human-centered Instrumentality process would proceed. Having decided that humanity as a whole had reached an evolutionary dead end, Seele seeks to bring about Instrumentality and unite all humans into one hyper-being, the next stage of existence.

The logo was of Seele changed for the _Rebuild of Evangelion_ to that of a snake curled around an apple in between the seven eyes. On the apple the name Seele is written, and beneath this the motto _Überm __Sternenzelt richtet Gott, wie wir gerichtet_, a quote from the poem "Ode to Joy", which translates as "Above the starry-sky judges God, the way we judged". The poster also featured the subtitle "God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world".

**United Nations (UN):** The world intergovernmental organization which funds Nerv. Due to the Second Impact followed by series of warfare, the U.N. was heavily funded by superpowers (such as the United States and China) and other powerful organizations (like Seele), enabling it to mobilize a powerful military. The U.N. armed forces are made up of units from member nations, such as Japan's JSSDF.

Many traditional air force units are replaced with VTOL (Vertical Take-Off and Landing) fighters and bombers. The naval power of the U.N. is primarily made up of a mix of many different types of ships from many navies. The U.N. aircraft carriers, such as _Over the Rainbow_, also carry a mix of both Russian and American naval aircraft. It is a strong possibility that the United Nations possesses N² bombs as well as traditional stealth planes. Much of the U.N. forces remain unknown, but it is clear that their military reforms are significant.

Unlike Nerv and Seele, the United Nations still relies on a traditional military with conventional weapons.

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**Events:**

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**First Impact:** Called the Giant Impact, it was the asteroid impact that occurred around 4 billion years ago which caused the Moon to split from the Earth.

**Second Impact:** A cataclysm which followed the "contact experiment" conducted on Adam in Antarctica on September 13, 2000. The awakened and injured Angel created a strong "Anti-AT Field" which caused an explosion that melted the Antarctic ice cap and caused a shift of Earth's axis; climate changes and gigantic floods followed. Two billion people in the southern hemisphere were directly killed by the ensuing tsunamis. As a result of the subsequent chaos, wars broke out due to scarce food and resources, such as a war between India and Pakistan which started two days after the explosion. These conflicts spread all over the world, and were ended on February 14, 2001 by signing what would be later called "The Valentine Ceasefire." By the end of these events, the human population of earth was halved.

Vast environmental damage and global climate changes resulted from Second Impact and the rise in global sea levels. These effects were worldwide.

Officially, there was no Adam and no "contact experiment." According to the cover-up, the Second Impact was caused by the impact of a meteorite that was too small and too fast (95% of the speed of light) to be detected. This relativistic speed resulted in a massive explosion when the meteorite collided with Earth. Considering the ancient meteorite impact which created Earth's Moon to be the "First" Impact, the public at large officially dubbed this disaster the "Second" Impact in keeping with the cover-up story of a meteorite impact. Several Nerv personnel know the true cause of the explosion but still refer to it as "Second Impact" for convenience.

In the Rebuild of Evangelion film series, it is revealed that all the oceans of the Earth are now devoid of life except for small "marine reserves" and the ocean itself has become a blood-like substance following Adam's detonation.

**Third Impact:** The final event predicted in Seele's Dead Sea Scrolls; achieving the correct Third Impact is the ultimate objective of their efforts.

Third Impact is triggered by the union of Adam and Lilith, with the result being the creation of a supreme being that would succeed all existing life on Earth. The goal of Seele and Nerv is to prevent any of the Angels from instigating Third Impact so that humankind may do so instead, thus fulfilling the goal of the Human Instrumentality Project.

In the second Rebuild of Evangelion, Unit 01 and Shinji started Third Impact using the Angel Zeruel, Shinji attempted to bond with the Angel's core to save Rei after she was assimilated. This desire and Angelic contact resulted in Unit 01 absorbing the Angel's core into itself and transforming into a near-godlike being. Ritsuko described it as "the birth of a new life form at the cost of the old ones". This Third Impact was stopped by a Lance of Longinus deployed by Kaworu and Unit 06 on their terrestrial descent.

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**Locales:**

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**Antarctica:** The ground zero for the Second Impact, during which it was destroyed; the continent is now completely submerged in a sea devoid of life, but with pillars of ice protruding through its red surface. Humans cannot survive here, and must be shielded behind thick barriers. It has become the true "Dead Sea"; not even microbial life survived the blast from Second Impact. Black Moon: The Egg of Lilith — the empty "egg" from which all human souls originated. Buried beneath the surface of the Earth, it was used by Nerv as their base of operations.

**Central Dogma:** Nerv's pyramid-like control center located inside the GeoFront. Terminal Dogma is directly below it. Central Dogma takes its name from the central dogma of a molecular biology, which explains the concepts of translation and transcription of genetic information.

Central Dogma appears to be environmentally sealed due to it seemingly being unaffected by the GeoFront's rise into orbit.

**GeoFront (Nerv HQ):** A spherical cavern, protected by 22 layers of armored bulkheads, located under Tokyo-3 and containing Nerv headquarters. Later revealed to be the Egg of Lilith, from which humanity was born.

**Nerv branches:** Various Nerv branches have been made in different parts of the world. All Nerv branches have different names than the Nerv branch in Tokyo-3.

Nerv-01 is the first North American branch of Nerv located in Boston, Massachusetts. It is where Eva Unit 03 was created before being flown to Nerv headquarters, possibly in coordination with MIT where one of the Magi supercomputers was also held.

Nerv-02 is the second North American branch of Nerv. It is located somewhere in the Nevada Desert. It vanished, along with 12,000 individuals and everything else in an 89 km radius, when Eva Unit 04's S² Engine was activated.

Nerv-03 (also known simply as "Nerv-Germany") is the branch of Nerv located in Germany. Eva Unit 02 was constructed here. Its location is never specified; however, there are two Magi computers in Hamburg and Berlin.

Nerv-Bethany is a joint US/Russian base located under an area identified as Acheron. It appears to be located in the middle of a lake or sea.

Nerv-Golgotha the location that the Dummy plug system was developed. At the time of its deployment to Tokyo-3, Golgotha had not performed any tests on the Dummy system.

**Pribnow ****Box****:** A section of Nerv HQ where the three simulation bodies are kept. It is surrounded by thick "protein walls" and it is named after a section of the DNA strand of a prokaryotic organism.

**Sea of LCL:** A world in which there are no AT Fields, human consciousness is not divided between different bodies, and the souls of all of humanity reside in a giant sea. It's the theoretical pinnacle of existence and ultimate goal of the Human Instrumentality Project.

**Terminal Dogma:** The deepest level of the Nerv Headquarters, where Lilith and the Lance of Longinus are kept. It is ostensibly locked to all but the highest members of Nerv.

Lilith is stored in Terminal Dogma, crucified upon a massive red cross. It is also pierced through the torso with the Lance of Longinus, much like Jesus. The wound from the Lance has not healed and LCL seems to bleed from it. This has caused a small lake of LCL to form around the cross which functions as the reservoir for Nerv's LCL needs, hence the designation "Main LCL Plant".

**Tokyo (Tokyo-1):** Destroyed on September 20, 2000, seven days after Second Impact, when a nuclear bomb was dropped on it during the wars which broke out as a result of post-Second Impact tension. The destruction of Tokyo-1 resulted in the death of half a million people.

**Tokyo-****2****:** The capital of Japan, and was where the Japanese government relocated after Tokyo (Tokyo-1) was nuked in the chaos following Second Impact.

**Tokyo-3: **Located above the GeoFront, with buildings that can retract into the ground for safety, and other buildings that contain the launch ports and weapons caches for the Evas. It is projected to replace Tokyo-2 as capital of Japan, but was designed to intercept all incoming Angels to Japan. The city is defended by numerous missile stations around it. It was built in the location of pre-Impact Hakone.

**White ****Moo****n:** The egg from which all Angels originated, located in Antarctica. This is where Adam laid dormant before self-destructing and being shrunk to an embryo because of an experiment of the Katsuragi Team, causing Second Impact. The "White Moon" was actually another GeoFront cavern, exactly the same size as the Black Moon's GeoFront (which contained Lilith) located under Hakone (which Nerv HQ and Tokyo-3 were built around). According to Gendo, both the creation of the Black Moon cavern under Tokyo-3 and the White Moon in Antarctica date back to exactly the same geological time period.

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**Miscellaneous:**

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**Children:** Used to refer to each of the Eva pilots plurally, singular is Child.

**Dead Sea Scrolls:** In the world of _Evangelion_, there exists one or more of these scrolls whose existence was never revealed to the public and are currently held by Seele. Seele states that their pursuit of the Human Instrumentality Project, and all events occurring therein, is in accordance with an ambiguously-described "scenario" laid out in the Dead Sea Scrolls, predicting the Second Impact, the coming of the Angels, and the eventual Third Impact.

**Human Instrumentality Project:** Though the specifics of the project are largely mysterious and speculative, the Instrumentality Project is an operation initiated by Seele to instigate an artificial Third Impact in which all human physical life will end and the minds of all humans become united in a single soul. Nerv, the Evas, Adam, Lilith, and the Angels, along with Second Impact, all form part of Seele's skillful maneuvering to achieve this purpose. Also known as _The Human Enhancement Project_ or _The Human Complementation Project_.

**Project E:** The project to create the Evangelion combat machine series that led to the formation of Nerv. It is also called the Adam Revival Project.

(Information primarily taken from Anime-Wiki)

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**Characters:**

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**Neon Genesis Evangelion Universe:**

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Shinji Ikari (+)*

Asuka Langley Soryuu (+)*

Rei Ayanami (Rei I (-), Rei II (-), and Rei III (+)*)

Misato Katsuragi (+)*

Kaworu Nagisa (-)

Ritsuko Akagi (+)*

Naoko Akagi (-)*

Gendo Ikari (+)*

Maya Ibuki (+)

Toji Suzuhara (+)

Kozo Fuyutsuki (+)

Ryoji Kaji (-)

Makoto Hyuga (+)

Shigeru Aoba (+)

Yui Ikari (-)*

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryuu (-)*

Pen Pen (+)

Hikari Horaki (+)

Kensuke Aida (+)

Keel Lorenz (-)

* * *

**Rebuild of Evangelion Universe:**

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Shinji Ikari (+)*

Asuka Langley Shikinami (+)*

Rei Ayanami (Rei I (-), Rei II (-), Rei IX (+)*)

Misato Katsuragi (+)*

Kaworu Nagisa (+)*

Ritsuko Akagi (+)*

Naoko Akagi (-)

Gendo Ikari (+)

Maya Ibuki (+)*

Toji Suzuhara (-)

Kozo Fuyutsuki (+)

Ryoji Kaji (+)

Makoto Hyuga (+)

Shigeru Aoba (+)

Yui Ikari (-)

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryuu (-)

Pen Pen (+)*

Hikari Horaki (-)

Kensuke Aida (-)

Keel Lorenz (-)

Mari Illustrious Makinami (+)

Sakura Suzuhara (-)

Kohji Takao (-)

Sumire Nagara (-)

Hideki Tama (-)

Midori Kitakami (- )

* * *

Characters marked with (+) are alive and characters marked with (-) are either deceased or missing. Furthermore, characters marked with an (*) are prominent characters.


	2. Chapters Listing

You Shall (Not) Remember Stages

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Stage 1: The Toll Of Our Creation

Stage 2: Bright Light, Shining Darkness

Stage 3: The Many Times I Held Your Hand

Stage 4: Waiting For Consciousness

Stage 5: Together

Stage 6: Apart

Stage 7: Boy And Girl

Stage 8: Close Proximity, Distant Feelings

Stage 9: Beginning Of The End

Stage 10: The Magi System

Stage 11: Battle Stations

Stage 12: Shimmering Pond, Dissipating Water

Stage 13: Where Three Are Gathered In My Name

Stage 14: Priority

Stage 15: Submergence

Stage 16: God Spoke

Stage 17: Listen To The Voice That Drowns You So

Stage 18: Yet Staggering, Step Forward

Stage 19: Answers Soaked In Red


	3. The Toll Of Our Creation

**Stage One: The Toll Of Our Creation**

The sky was red, the surroundings destroyed. A large hole, a deep crater, was all that was left of Tokyo-3. The trees and vegetation surrounding the city were torn asunder, uprooted and broken. Above, in the sky, was the Devil himself: Evangelion Unit 01. Debris and great chunks of the Earth circled around the newly Awakened God, drawn into its orbit like the planets around the Sun. Wings sprouted forth from Unit 01's back, the armor plates keeping the monstrous beast confined having fallen off. Twisted pieces of metal was all that remained of the armor plates, which also swirled around Unit 01's floating form. The wings connected to a large circle, resembling a devil's halo, above Unit 01's head. The circle was an array of dismally fiendish colors; ranging from the darkest blacks to brightest tans. Unit 01's crimson core was pulsating blood red light as it soaring higher into the sky. Its eyes were glowing a bright – almost white – purplish red, as it drew itself closer and closer to the circle above.

"Forcing Unit 01 to become the catalyst before they had their pieces in place." Kaji observed, standing a safe enough distance away from the epicenter atop a hill, as he watched Unit 01 soar into the sky. He narrowed his eyes and glanced over at Gendo with Fuyutsuki alongside him; both distant figures standing on another upheaval meters away. "Well Commander, SEELE isn't going to take this lying down." He gazed back at Unit 01, concentrating hard on what was going to happen next.

Inside of Evangelion Unit 01, in the middle of a sea of whites and blues, and suspended there, were the forms of two individuals. One, a boy, and the other, a girl. Their skin was glowing brightly from the intensively blinding colors surrounding their forms; their hair swaying as if the follicles were alive and breathing. The boy held the girl tightly in an embrace, not wanting to let go, as the Liquid Connecting Fluid all around them shifted between the mixtures of whites and blues. Enveloping his slim body were bluish white flames that licked at the water, the LCL, that submerged the two of them inside Unit 01's spinal torso, inside the entry plug. He felt happy, but at the same time, at the bottom of his heart, his soul; he felt _sad_.

"Thank you, Ayanami." He said, staring down at his cassette player in the girl's hand. "For trying to bring me and my dad together."

The girl looked past him, at the streams of light behind his back and going out of the entry plug; as if the boy himself had sprouted wings. Her crimson eyes were unemotional as she responded. "I'm sorry I couldn't." Though, her voice held all the emotion that she needed. "I just wanted you to be happy."

"It doesn't matter." The boy closed his eyes blissfully, trying to get the words out, holding her tighter. "This is enough."

Outside, the remains of the Angel Zeruel shaped itself into the form of the girl, as it merged into the core of Unit 01. On the ground, a handful of NERV personnel looked up in awe at what was unfolding before their very eyes.

"The narcissist of a divine life form that transcends the Word of this world," Ritsuko began, watching as the form of Unit 01 took the shape of a God, "Is the demise of all the life forms of old that came before it."

The wings of Unit 01 became thicker and more pronounced, as its transcendence into a God was nearing completion. Misato trembled, clenching her cross shaped pendant closer to her heart. "Wings, just like fifteen years ago."

"Yes, it's the continuation of that event." Ritsuko reiterated, her eyes wide with the realization. "The Third Impact is beginning!"

Evangelion Unit 01 soared high above the world, in the middle reaches of the Troposphere now, towards the outer reaches of space, and beyond it – the realm of a God. There was an inhuman howl, blood wrenching and otherworldly, _omniscient_, that escaped from the mouth of Unit 01. No, it came from the soul, as the last scrapes of its humanity were being melted away.

_"This is the end of the world."_

Or so it seemed...

* * *

An unknown amount of time later. NERV Headquarters.

* * *

Evangelion Unit 01 was confined in a special holding chamber after its Awakening, and the halting of Third Impact, now known as Near Third Impact. No one was allowed to interact with it, as there was no telling what might happen if they did. The teams at NERV monitored it everyday, analyzing it for any signs. Primarily, for any signs of the pilot and the pilot of Unit 00, who was also missing. All they could do was wait.

Floating, listlessly, Shinji's body and soul manifested itself inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. He took a breath, but he couldn't see anything as his eyes were closed shut. He exhaled slowly, before opening his eyes in the same fashion.

_ Where...? _

He thought he had gone blind for a moment, as everything around him was only comprised of white space. Nothing else. But then, he realized that if he were blind he would be seeing all black, not all white. That is, unless the rules surrounding light and dark had changed when he wasn't looking – and he hadn't been looking, for who knows how long? _He certainly didn't._

_What is this place? Where am I? _He looked down at himself, before quickly coming back up and searching around; red from embarrassment. _And where are my clothes?! _He floated in the white space, covering his man parts defensively, looking all around him for any sign of, well, _anything_. But, there was nothing. Then, he suddenly remembered. _Where was Rei?!_

"Rei?" Shinji called out hesitantly, afraid something might happen if he spoke. When nothing did, he tried again. "Rei?" A third time; louder. "Rei?!" He searched up and down, back and forth, but there was no sign of Rei either. Just empty space. He called out again, not wanting to give up. "Rei! _Where are you!?_"

As soon as he finished calling her name for a fourth time, he heard a faint sound, almost like a whisper, all around him; coming from every direction.

"I'm right here." The voice said. "I'm right here." The voiced repeated. "I'm right here."

"Where?!" Shinji replied, not sure where _"here"_ was. "I can't see you Rei!"

"I'm right here." Rei's voice repeated all around him. "Ikari."

"_Rei!_" Shinji frantically looked around again, but just as before, there was nothing. Nothing but an ocean of white.

"I have something to show you." Rei's voice echoed, repeating the phrase _"something to show you"_ over and over.

Shinji became confused, not sure what was happening. "What? I don't understand! _Rei!_"

"I have something to show you, Ikari." Rei's voice became a singular entity, as she herself materialized behind Shinji, causing him to jump in surprise and reel back, as she was naked as well. Of course, that didn't bother her in the slightest. "Come along." She said, holding out her pale hand to him.

He just looked at it dumbstruck for a moment, then up its length to her shoulder, and resting his brown eyes on her face. Her crimson eyes were unemotional as usual, and her unnaturally blue hair was wrapped around her face like a helmet; the same old Rei. He didn't know what this was all about, but he smiled regardless, glad that Rei was ok. "Rei." He joyously said softly.

"Come along." She repeated, holding out her hand.

Shinji took it without hesitation now, as Rei smiled. Suddenly, before he could react, the white space around the two of them became blinding, as it enveloped them in its light. All he could do was yelp, before the two of them went back to a previous occurrence, much like the one that had happened during their struggle with the Angels, and Near Third Impact.

_Human Instrumentality._


	4. Bright Light, Shining Darkness

**Stage One: Bright Light, Shining Darkness**

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2032.

* * *

The room was bare, and cold. It was weather beaten, and dark. The only thing in the room was a curtain, and behind it, a worn out mattress. On the mattress, lay a girl, fourteen years old, with pale skin and unnatural blue hair; crimson eyes. Her plug suit was hanging from a dinky rack beside her bed, it was black with red around the collar and shoulders, and grey under the arms and down their length, stopping at the elbow. Here and there, a few light green, almost turquoise, parts were fitted onto it as well. Imprinted on the front and back of the suit was a single digit, colored red, that indicated the pilot's number. The front number was _zero-nine _and the back number was just the number _nine_, though it was surrounded by a thick lined red triangle design that connected to the collar and the shoulder lines.

Laying on her mattress, with just simple white clothes on, the girl tossed a little in her sleep, as she dreamed. Dreaming of something that happened years ago, when Third Impact was averted, yet it was something different at the same time. A similar occurrence she didn't remember, or even knew existed.

* * *

The First Child's apartment. 2016.

* * *

The night was calm, the clouds slowly moving across the sky and obscuring the bright illumination of the moon. Light danced its way through the First Child's apartment window, casting a bluish white glow across her upright figure. She held onto her thin bed sheet as her crimson eyes stared into the bright round sphere in the sky.

_Even on a black and empty street.._.

A cloud moved leisurely in front of the moon's position, causing the light to limit itself to singular beams that shone only on certain areas of her motionless figure, leaving other parts left wallowing in the half-light and the darkness.

_If we go together..._

Unblinking, she watched the cloud lazily move past the moon, as light once again fully illuminated her, streaming off the pale skin of her face and arms in patches as more clouds crept in front of the moon. She continued to watch the clouds move by, the moon's bright round shape reflected in her blank irises and dark pupils. The light gave them a strangely beautiful appearance, as her unfeeling gaze went from the clouds back to the moon itself.

_We might one day find something..._

She looked blankly at the moon, silently sitting on her cold bed mattress; speckles of dust floating in the light. Continuing to look at the moon, she slightly tightened the loose hold she had on her bed sheet, but only just a little. Her hands were as cold as her eyes despite being warm from the increased circulation of blood through her fingers to ward off the calm night's chilly atmosphere.

_Like the moon that floats in the darkness._


	5. The Many Times I Held Your Hand

**Stage Three: The Many Times I Held Your Hand**

Rei walked in the direction of NERV Headquarters, not in any hurry, her expressionless face hiding the many floating thoughts swimming in her head. Her unnatural blue hair swayed lightly in the early morning hours' breeze, the partially cold air unimportant to her, as she stepped into the train she usually took in order to reach Headquarters, and sat down in one of the seats closest to the door, arms folded on her lap.

_I am the third..._

Looking around her, she tried to spot the Third Child; usually, they often took the same train, but today there was no sight of him. The genuine feelings she had for him weren't _her_ own, she summarized, they were the second's. Yet, why did she feel the need to see him? Did this have to do with the second's feelings as well?

_S__omeone who is not me..._

She looked out the train window, at the mountains outside. They were so far away, yet so close at the same time. Their white peaks reached into the blue sky, the gentle clouds above, the invisible moon, and the burning sun high. The scenery moved by fast as the train moved quickly to its appointed destination.

_Mountains. They are heavy. Sky. Blue sky. The moon, only one. The sun. One, only one. __The things my eyes can see. Myself. This form that is, fading from my view. My feelings. They are not my own, melting away, revealing the vessel underneath. A strange feeling, who is here, who is there? Beyond me, my life, my heart? Things my eyes can't see. The soul that makes me._

Getting off the train, it having reached its destination, Rei continued her walk towards Headquarters, falling in line with other morning commuters, but at the same time apart from them. She glanced down at one of her arms, hanging freely at her side. Her skirt, like her hair, swayed in the morning breeze. It brushed against her hand, as she noticed the feeling of contact for the first time. Holding her hand up in front of her, she stared blankly at it. A unfamiliar feeling inside her surfaced, yet it was familiar. It wasn't her one of own feelings, but the second's like before. Even so, she couldn't help but feel that these feelings which weren't her own were, in fact, her own. She remembered the feeling of the first time he had held her hand.

_The first time I touched them..._

Still looking at her hand, she very slightly moved her fingers. Very _sub__tly_.

_I felt nothing._

She started bending her fingers individually, slowly, starting with her index finger.

_The second time..._

She moved on to her middle finger, curling it ever so delicately, watching the motion with a faint hint of confusion plastered across her expressionless features.

_Was slightly unpleasant._

Keeping her walking pace steady, she went on to her third finger.

_The third time..._

Next, she bent her little finger, touching it against the inside of her palm. The palm of her hand was warm to the touch.

_They were warm._

Lastly, she moved her thumb, her face began to express another emotion, one she didn't know she had, that wasn't her own. _Yet..._

_The fourth time..._

A short lived upturn formed at the corners of her mouth, as she gently clenched and unclenched her hand into a small fist; loosely formed. A geniune smile.

_I was happy._

She held out her hand flat, staring at it, more feelings welling up inside her chest, spilling out from her heart. Feelings that she knew weren't her own, yet they were.

_May I..._

She thought of Ikari, moving past the figure of the Commander in her mind to focus on the angst boy behind his imposing shadow.

_... touch them again?_

The boy was crying, begging his father not to leave him. To abandon him. Rei stopped in front of him, this crying and lonely soul, and held out her hand. Offering it to the boy.

_Ikari's..._

Noticing the pale hand in front of his watery eyes, the boy grasped tightly. He weakly smiled at the kind girl, wondering who she was, yet somehow knowing exactly who she was. _His saviour_.

_... hands?_

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2032.

* * *

The girl, Rei Ayanami, sat upon her mattress in the early morning. Though, one couldn't tell, as the room was dark and gloomy, the world outside cut off by its bare walls. She blankly stared at her plug suit on the rack, as bits and pieces of the dream she had that night slowly came back to her, like missing pieces to a puzzle that she had just started.

_Who...?_

She looked down at her arm, flexing her fingers.

_...was that?_

Abandoning her wonder as quickly as it had came, she got off her bed, and parted the curtain that served as the door to her barren room. Every morning, she was to report to her designated Link Connecting Liquid Tank, as per instruction by the Commander. She followed her orders without question, not feeling anything in the way of personal feelings. Though, at the very back of her unquestionably loyal mind, there was something there. Something, a feeling, that she couldn't dispel no matter how hard she tried. She ignored it, the feeling going away as she walked silently down NERV's ruined corridors and halls to her destination. It was a feeling that she didn't have to deal with; _individualality_.


	6. Waiting For Consciousness

**Stage Four: Waiting For Consciousness**

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

Shinji no longer held Rei's hand, she was no where in sight. He had tried calling her name again, but to no avail; he was alone. The white space was also gone. It had dissipated, revealing a scene unknown to him, yet it seemed oddly familiar, though he couldn't quite place his finger on it. All he could do was watch the scene in front of his eyes unfold. It was NERV Headquarters, alright; the medical wing, he realized. Immediately, he recognized Asuka, but every time he tried calling out to her, she didn't respond. He was about to try something else, when he noticed for the first time another figure, outside the door.

_Is that... me?_

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

The various machines keeping Asuka stable beeped one after another in a timed sequence as they monitored her body frequencies constantly. Shinji listened to each sound as they went off, his head downcast as he stared at the white floor of NERV's medical wing. His mind went back to previous events of the morning.

_What have I__..._

In desperation, he had tried calling Asuka's name multiple times as she lay hooked up to various pieces of medical equipment.

_They were beeping then too..._

Pleading, he had tried shaking her still body, calling her name a few times more, he didn't want to lose her too; he had already lost Ayanami. The Rei here now was detached and unfeeling; cold. She wasn't the Rei he, _they_, had come to know and cherish. Her crimson eyes didn't believe in anything, they were empty and unemotional just like her heart. Thus, the only one he had left was Asuka, a child just like himself. He needed their bond to stay intact, if it were severed he would become broken, even more so than he already was. As he shook her harder, the lines and monitors that were attached to her body swayed back and forth all around, causing the various machines that they in turn were attached to vibrate slightly. On the verge of tears in his desperation, he called her name softly.

"Asuka..." No response. He tried again, louder. "Asuka... hey..." She didn't move, her breathing shallow as she lay in deep sleep. "Asuka... Asuka... _Asuka_...!" He started to shake her even harder, trying to get her to open her eyes. _To acknowledge him_. "Hey, wake up. _Hey...!_" His voiced cracked a little. "Wake up! Open your eyes _dammit_! Asuka..." He abruptly stopped shaking her, sobbing quietly to himself. "_Asuka...!_" He yelled through his watery eyes, as they became cloudy like too much rain was bottled up inside them; ready to pour out.

_I'm so..._

He yanked hard, almost violently, on her shoulder, tears welling at the corners of his eyes and streaming down his face. Lines that were attached to her chest came off, her medical gown parting open as a result. All Shinji could do was stare, as drops of loneliness dripped from his chin onto her bare chest. All Shinji could do... was stare.

Asuka's chest was exposed, her breasts visible in the half-light of the room, the blinds on the window blocking the sun outside. Birds could be heard chirping softly to one another, cicadas could be heard buzzing loudly, and Shinji could be hear sobbing quietly, his breathing exasperated and equally as shallow as the sleeping form in front of him. Her chest rose and fell as she inhaled and exhaled, supported by the various machines around her. He stared at her; at her breasts. At the way they were roundly shaped, at the pinkish tips of her nipples. At her sleeping face, her beautifully serene features as she lay still on her bed. At her loosely worn medical gown, then back at her face, so... _peaceful_. His mind became light, he had stopped breathing for a second, then his body moved on his own as if he weren't in control of it. The door to the room was closed; he locked it.

_… __fucked up._

He stared down at his hand, at what he had done. His hand, it was shaking. Glancing down at Asuka's motionless form, his tears, which had become dry, started to well again at the corners of his eyes.

_… __done to you__, Asuka?_

He wept, letting his emotions spill out, drops falling on the comatose girl in front of him.


	7. Together

**Stage Five: Together**

The Second Child lay still on her medical bed, deep inside her own mind, silent except for her shallow breathing. She was dreaming, of a time before; a time when her mother was still alive.

_Sunflowers..._

"Stay close to me, Asuka." Kyoko Zeppelin Shikinami told her young daughter, as she held her small hand. "I don't want you getting lost."

"Ok Mama!" Asuka Langley Shikinami, four years old, exclaimed smiling happily. They had taken a trip to a local sunflower field in their new living area. Having just signed on to the newly created UN organization Gehirn, Kyoko and her daughter were recently transfered from the German Branch to the Japanese Branch. The two of them had just touched down in Japan a little under a week ago, and had settled in Hakone, Japan, where the Artifical Evolution Labratory was located. The town was a lovely place nestled in the Kawagawa Prefecture, and boasted many wonderful attractions. Today the two of them were celebrating their arrival on the island for the first time since they came, and didn't want to waste a second of it.

Roaming amongst the sunflowers, taller than a grown man, it was like an adventure. Together, holding hands, they were having fun. They lit up each other's lives like candles in the darkness. Kyoko smiled warmly down at Asuka, who was amazed at the vast scope of the sunflower field. She watched her with loving eyes; her daughter.

Asuka tried reaching for one of the petals on one of the smaller sunflowers, but she was still too short. Not giving up, she tried again, this time standing on the tips of her toes and jumping, nearly there. A third time, but she still couldn't reach high enough. She made a face at the tall flower, sticking her tongue out, and looked back at her mother, smiling. Her mother smiled warmly back, then bent down and put her hand on Asuka's head, petting it gently.

"Better luck next time."

"You think so?" Asuka replied doubtfully. She looked up at the sunflower, "It's too big!" She pouted.

"That's why you have friends that are there to help you..." Her mother said, reaching for the petal Asuka had tried to get and plucking it out. She handed it to her, "... or mothers that are always there for you."

Asuka inspected the sunflower petal, flipping it over, and flapping it around in the air. "It's pretty."

"Very pretty and bright, just like you, Asuka."

Asuka beamed at being praised, holding the sunflower petal to her chest tightly. Kyoko patted her on the head again, ruffling her strawberry red hair, a mixture of both her parents' hair colors. She moved a loose strand of her own blonde hair out of her face, as she looked at Asuka's pig-tails, which bounced as Asuka bobbed her head up in excitement, ready to do more exploring. "Asuka."

The young girl looked up, curious to know what her mother wanted. "Yes, Mama?"

"Are you having fun?"

"Uh-huh! Lots of fun!" She exclaimed, hopping a little.

They went around the field for a time, playing various games like hide and seek. They stuck close to one another, careful not to lose each other amongst the tall sunflowers. Finally, after much playing, Kyoko sat down after finding an open spot to rest. Asuka's energy was unmatched, and as much as she wanted to, she just couldn't keep up. Instead, she was content with just watching Asuka play by herself.

"Don't go too far, Asuka." She called, as Asuka went a little deeper in the sunflower field.

"Ok Mama! I won't!" Asuka called back, zipping under and around sunflowers.

Asuka was deep in the sunflower field by now, and by the time she looked back for her mother, she couldn't see her. All she saw were sunflowers. She wandered around, searching for her mother. All she saw were sunflowers. Running, she pushed past the tall flowers, she was starting to get frightened. She was frantic, because all she saw were sunflowers. An endless sea of green stems with yellow tops, her mother nowhere in sight. She was scared, tripping over herself, and tumbling to the ground. She had lost one of her dress shoes in the fall, but she didn't care, all she wanted was to find her mother. She was lost, she didn't know where to go without her mother, and now her mother was gone. Slowing down, her dress dirty and her shoeless sock torn and foot scuffed, she stopped completely amidst the sea of sunflowers. Holding the sunflower petal to her chest, she cried. She couldn't find her mother, and she was alone, drowning in a sea of sunflowers.

_... __I hate sunflowers._

* * *

Misato's dormitory. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

"Do you like sunflowers, Misato?" Asuka asked, as she stabbed the noodles on her plate with her fork.

"Hmm?" Misato answered, her mouth full of food. She wasn't expecting a question like that right after the two of them had finished with Asuka's medical therapy for the day. When she looked up from her plate, Asuka was absentmindedly twirling her fork around; it worried her. _Was it because of the tests? _She immediately thought, quickly washing down her food with her can of beer before responding. "I like eating them, yes. Do you want me to go get some for you the next time I go out?"

Asuka weaved her fork in and out of her fingers as she stared at it; as if there were something hidden in its plastic material. "No, it's alright." She put the fork down to look at her guardian. "I was just wondering."

Misato took another drink of her beer, still worried. She leaned forward, her shirt loosely hanging down a little. "You know, Asuka," She started, "We're doing all we can to figure out what happened to your body." Misato reassured the young teenager. "You don't need to worry."

"No, that's not what I'm talking about." Asuka replied, as she involuntarily touched the patch covering her left eye. "I had a weird dream last night, and I..."

Misato listened carefully, taking another sip of her beer.

"In it..." Asuka stared down at her food, which she had barely touched. "... I saw my Mother."

Sighing knowingly, Misato leaned back into her chair. _That's right, deep down, you're lonely. Aren't you? And without Shinji or Rei around, even more. _She closed her eyes for a second, before sighing again as she opened them. "Do you miss her?"

Asuka continued to stare at her plate, her voice distant; which was unlike her. "Sometimes." She nodded, as she slowly looked back up. "Hey, Misato?"

"What is it Asuka?"

"Nevermind," Asuka said, looking back down at her plate, "It's nothing."

_Asuka... _Depsite what the young teenager said, Misato could still see she was troubled by something. It wasn't something Misato couldn't _not_ worry about and ignore. Not only as her commanding officer, but as her guardian. She smiled softly, not moving to take a sip of her beer this time. "Asuka..." The strawberry red haired girl didn't respond, but looked up when she heard her name. Misato smiled warmly this time. "...If anything is ever bothering you. Let me know, ok?"

Asuka nodded slowly, staring at Misato and through her at the same time; thinking. "Ok."

Misato moved to touch Asuka's hair, but the look on Asuka's face caused her to rear her hand back abruptly, and once again onto her lap underneath the table. Instead, she just smiled softly back. _I __just__ hope everything's ok, Asuka..._


	8. Apart

**Stage Six: Apart**

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

"I'd never do anything like that to Asuka..." Shinji whispered to himself, staring in disbelief at what he saw himself doing. Though, he started to have doubts at the back of his mind; where he couldn't reach. The memories that were locked away so he wouldn't have to witness them anymore. "...right?"

As he contemplated with himself the scene shifted. The scene unfolding before him now was the same as the one before, though he noticed that outside it was later in the morning; how later he couldn't tell. He was looking at himself again; himself all alone and detached, his eyes distant as he was lost in an event that happened at the most a few hours earlier. But, in reality, it had only been a few minutes. Shinji waited to see what would happen next; what would his other self do? Or rather, what would _he_ do? All he could do was watch and find out.

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

Shinji's eyes once again stared at the white floor of NERV's medical wing, as he waited outside Asuka's room, leaning next to the door against the wall. His mind, now back to reality, had strengthened his resolve to apologize to her. Even if she was in a coma, maybe his voice would reach her somehow, even if it was a small chance he had to apologize for what he had done. For what he couldn't take back, for his uncontrollable urges in that one moment – he didn't want to lose her; she was all he had left. The Rei he knew was gone, she was now a stranger to him; the friends he had made at school were gone, having moved away in response to the threat of another Angel attack; the Misato he had known was gone, swallowed up by her obsessions of whatever Kaji had discovered about his father's organization, about NERV; he had killed Kaworu, Evangelion Unit 01 devouring his soul and body as an Angel; the only one he had left was Asuka – he couldn't lose her too. Taking a deep breath, he gathered what remained of his courage and entered her room. She was still sleeping and it didn't look like she'd wake up anytime so, even so, he had to try.

"A-Asuka... hey..." He said softly, eyes downcast and still focused on the floor. "I.. I'm sorry for..." He looked up, but stopped once he saw her face. There was a tear forming at the corner of her right eye. Shinji watched it form, unsure what to say next, "... Asuka...?" He started to reach his hand out towards her, but quickly pulled it back, hesitant, and went back to staring at the floor.

* * *

Asuka's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Asuka Langley Shikinami lay on her bed, not wanting to fall asleep. The reason being: she didn't want the dreams of her deceased mother to come back to her; she didn't want to relive those moments. Odd to her though, she felt that the dreams weren't her own but someone else's, and she couldn't explain why; after all, the memories she was seeing were her own – _right?_

Instead of trying to figure it out, she stared at the white ceiling of Shinji's room; the room she had forced him out of. Although, now, with Shinji gone, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, the Commander's Pet as well, her heart was more empty than it was before. Granted, all the time she spent with Misato was enjoyable, like when they had dinner together a couple of days ago, but it wasn't the same as before with Shinji, and, _as much as she hated to admit it_, Rei. There was also the two new additions, who she didn't particularly like much – the Homo and Four-Eyes. _God, even crybaby Shinji __and mute Rei __are __better than those two, they__'re s__o annoying._ She thought to herself with an aggravated scowl plastered across her face. Not wanting to think about the two new thorns in her side at the moment, Asuka went back to staring at the ceiling, trying to get her mind on something else.

She involuntarily touched the patch on her right eye, like she had been doing for the past two years. The fact that her eye had been affected when Evangelion Unit 03 had been infected by that Angel sickened her. What sickened her more was also the fact that the most unlikely of people, to her, had saved her life. It was insulting, that someone like Shinji, a loser, would be her knight in shining armor. As she thought of Shinji now, on the surface it was scorn and disdain, but underneath, as much as she hated to admit it, there was joy.

Asuka voluntarily touched the patch, gently feeling her fingers across its gauze surface, before turning over on her side and curling up in her bed. She looked at the hand that had touched the patch, clenching and unclenching the fingers slowly. "_Stupid Shinji._" She whispered as she surrendered herself to drowsiness, and with it, her dreams.

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

Asuka was still dreaming, she couldn't hear Shinji or his attempts at being apologetic as her dream of sunflowers shifted two years forward, the last year her mother was alive.

"Yui..." Kyoko whispered mournfully to herself as she looked out the observation window to the testing deck below. Today was the day that the Binding of Souls was scheduled to take place, one of the last crucial steps of Gehirn's top secret "Project E". All the resources that the research team had put into the Evangelions would be pointless and a waste if this step didn't succeed. To function properly, the newly constructed humanoid weapons would need a human soul, as they had none. The plan the team had come up with guaranteed that without a human soul placed inside the Evangelions, the chance that they would go berserk and become the very thing they were built to fight against was significantly higher, and that wasn't a risk they wanted to take after coming so far. After so much planning, after so much hardship, they couldn't stop now; they were _so close_ to reaching their goal. Yet, nothing had prepared Kyoko for what had just happened to her colleague and dear friend right in front of her. Yui Ikari, aged twenty-seven, had just died. _She had died_. The two of them knew that the possibility of death was apparent, but to have it happen, just like that was...

"Mama?" Asuka, who was standing next her, said as she looked out the observation window. "What happened to that lady? She disappeared, like magic!" She asked, pulling on her mother's lab coat, and glancing up at her face.

Kyoko put her hand on the observation window, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "That lady... well... you see Asuka, she..." The tears fell as she kept her hand on the cold glass of the window, staring at the Evangelion below. "... she went away for awhile."

Asuka pulled on her mother's lab coat again, trying to get her attention. "Mama, don't cry...!" She exclaimed, a worrisome expression on her young face. "She'll come back! Just like Daddy! Right?"

"Right, Asuka... she'll be back..." Kyoko replied, slowly wiping her tears away. "She'll be back, just like your dad." She put her hand on Asuka's head, petting it. "Thank you, Asuka."

Her daughter smiled brightly, happy that she could help her mother, and then looked back behind her at the people gathered around the boy who had came with the lady. They were hooking him up to a stretcher, as he had fainted, and hasn't woken up yet.

"And Shinji, he'll be back too, won't he?"

"Yes, he'll be back too." Her mother said, back to staring through the observation window.

_Yui, was this for the best?_ _Was this, what you wanted all along? If so... then I..._

"Kyoko Zeppelin Shikinami?" A man with a clipboard said as he entered the observation deck, looking around. "Ah! Ms. Shikinami, you're up next. Head down to Testing Deck 02." The man exclaimed, after spotting her at the observation window. She didn't budge from her spot. "Ma'am?"

Asuka looked up at her mother. "Mama?"

Kyoko stared at the Evangelion still on Testing Deck 01, thinking to herself. She snapped back to reality when her daughter started tugging on her lab coat for a third time. "Yes, Asuka, what is it?"

"That man," She pointed to the man with the clipboard, "He called you."

Her mother looked back, a wave of realization flooding over her when she saw his uniform.

_SEELE?! What are they doing here?! This was supposed to be...!_

"Mama! What's wrong!? Do you have a tummy ache?" Asuka yelled, becoming frightened.

Kyoko focused her attention back at Asuka. "No, Asuka. Mama's fine, don't worry." She reassured her, patting her head and ruffling her strawberry red hair. "I'll be back, ok?"

Asuka's fright and worries disappeared when she saw her mother's face, and she brightly smiled again. "Yeah!"

Kyoko gave one last warm and loving smile to her daughter before turning to leave for Testing Deck 02. She stopped when she walked next to Dr. Akagi. They locked eyes for a second.

"Naoko, watch Asuka until I get back." She said, waiting for the other woman's response.

"Of course, Kyoko, I'll make it one of my top priorities."

Satisfied, Kyoko continued on, only stopping a second time to look at the Commander.

"Gendo..."

Gendo, shocked at what had happened with Yui, meet her gaze, but didn't respond. He couldn't, he was too broken up inside to.

"... _I'm sorry_." She said, following the SEELE agent towards Testing Deck 02.

Shinji tried gathering his courage yet again, as he looked up at the comatose Asuka. "Asuka... I..." There were still tears at the corners of her eyes, and she moved a little. Maybe he _was_ getting through to her! "Asuka... I... I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, clenching his fists at his side. "I didn't mean to...! I..."

Asuka was still deep in her dream, which had fast forwarded months later. Yet, she thought she heard someone calling to her from the outside.

The Binding of Souls had gone as planned, but at a heavy cost. The Evangelions now all had human souls and were operational, but at the loss of the volunteers. Yui Ikari, aged twenty-seven, had died. The day was dark after her passing. With the confinement of Kyoko Zeppelin Shikinami, the day became even darker. Unlike Yui, Kyoko had survived the Binding of Souls, but as with all miracles, there was a consequence; one that couldn't be exchanged or taken back. She was confined to a hospital bed, no longer herself.

Asuka stared through the hospital window at her mother, who was holding her daughter's favorite doll – the one she had bought her when they were still back in Germany. She listened to her mother on the other side of the window.

"Asuka, your mama cooked your favorite dish today." She warmly said to the doll, "Come on, if you're picky about your food, then that young lady over there is going to laugh at you."

"She goes on like that everyday." Asuka heard the female in the next room over say. "She talks to the doll, thinking it's her daughter."

"She probably feels responsible in her own way." A man's voice replied. "Her research filled her days and she had no time to pay attention to our daughter."

"You have my sympathies."

"But, with the way she is, they're practically a family of dolls." He said, sighing halfheartedly, not really caring about his family's feelings. "No, actually, perhaps humans and dolls are not so different."

"Humans made dolls in their own image, after all." The doctor stated. "If God exists, we may be nothing more than dolls to Him."

"I'm surprised to hear such words from a practitioner of modern medicine." Asuka's father remarked.

"I'm just another human before I'm a doctor, a flesh and blood woman." She cooed.

Sounds of flesh against flesh and soft moans were heard from the other room as Asuka put her hand to the glass of the hospital window, a tear rolling down her cheek. "_Mama, Daddy came back_." She said through her tears.

"Mama? Did you hear me?" She said, entering the room. Her mother was still mumbling to the doll. "Mama...?"

Kyoko didn't look up, she was fixated on the doll, feeding it her favorite dish with a spoon. Food was smeared across its face because it had no mouth to eat it with, but Kyoko hadn't noticed.

"That's not me, Mama! That doll... isn't me!" Asuka edged closer to her mother's bed. "Mama! Please look at me! _Mama_!" She sobbed, reaching out her hand towards her mother. "Please..." She took a hold of her mother's sleeve, tugging softly. "Please, don't stop..."

Her mother was still feeding the doll in vain, the mess on its face becoming more and more messy as she continued to spoon feed it.

"... _being my Mommy._"

As if on cue, Kyoko turned her head slowly, a lost look on her face as she stared at her real daughter's crying face.

"Mama?"

Kyoko sprang from her bed, lunging for her daughter's throat. She slammed her to the ground with both her hands around her real daughter's throat, choking the life out of her. A twisted smile played a tune across her lips as her daughter was struggling to breath. Doctors from another room rushed in to see what the commotion was, and pulled Kyoko off Asuka, sedating her with stimulants to calm her down. After some struggling, they managed to administer the last of the shots, and moments later Kyoko was knocked unconscious. The doctors wondered where the two that were watching over the patient were, not bothering to check the locked door in the next room over.

Weeks later, Asuka again tried visiting her mother in the hospital by herself, her father having left to start an affair with the female doctor. When she opened the door to the room, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling by a IV line. Kyoko Zeppelin Shikinami, aged thirty-one, _had died_.

* * *

Asuka's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Asuka jolted awake with a single tear rolling down her warm cheek; it was now morning. Through her watery eyes she looked at the hand she had flexed hours before, everything blurry and unclear as she then turned on her back to stare at the ceiling again.

"_Mama..._" She murmured under her breath, as the tears were now flowing freely down her face.


	9. Boy And Girl

**Stage Seven: Boy and Girl**

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

Shinji stared intensely at himself standing beside Asuka's medical bed. He couldn't look away.

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

"... I don't want to lose you, Asuka!" Shinji exclaimed, grabbing Asuka's limp arm. "Come on! Wake up!" No response except the tears at the corner of her eyes, which had yet to roll down her face. "This isn't like you, Asuka!" He stated, moving her limp arm up, shaking it. "Laugh and get angry! Make fun of me! Boss me around! Like before..." He pleaded, taking a hold her shoulders now. "The Asuka I want to protect isn't..." He shook her harder, trying to wake her. "... this _empty shell_!"

Asuka jerked in her sleep, having just relived her mother's death in her dreams. The tears forming at the corners of her eyes became bigger as she remembered. She heard someone's voice from outside her mind, calling to her, a familiar voice. One that she hated.

_Who...?_

She slowly opened her eyes at the sound of that familiar voice, finally recognizing it for what it was; everything she hated in the world.

Shinji stopped shaking her, staring it amazement that his voice had reached her when she was in a deep coma. "... Asuka?" He whispered in disbelief. "_Asuka_!" He exclaimed happily.

_I..._

Asuka slowly opened her mouth, breathing in, and then sprang up from her medical bed, staring straight at Shinji, yet through him at the same time.

_… hate..._

Shinji let go of her shoulders, relieved that she was awake, that he hadn't lost her too. "Asuka...! I -!" Before he could finish what he was about to say, Asuka scratched him across the face with her hand, knocking him to the ground. She jumped on top of him, a hateful and lost look in her distant blue eyes; she was looking at him and through him at the same time, to a distant memory that she couldn't erase no matter how hard she wanted to. She wrapped her hands around Shinji's throat, squeezing gently.

"_... Asuka...!_" Shinji coughed, trying to breath clearly. In response Asuka tightened her grip on his neck, as he now struggled to breath at all.

_… you!_

NERV staff and doctors rushed in to see what all the commotion was.

"What's going on here!?" One of them yelled, as they rushed forward to break it up.

"Let go of him, you!"

"Hurry, restrain her!"

A nurse helped Shinji up from the floor, holding him steady. "Are you ok?" She asked as he clutched his throat.

"Yes... I'm-" Asuka's struggling caused him to look over at her flailing on the bed as the doctors tried to calm her down.

"It's no use!" One of them grunted, as he held her down. "Give her a sedative! _Quickly_!"

"Let's get you out of here." The nurse said, pulling Shinji on his feet and turning him towards the door.

"But... Asuka..." Shinji said, looking back at the doctors still trying to restrain her.

"_Just go_! _Quickly_!" One of them said, avoiding a swipe from the enraged girl.

"Come on. She'll be alright, don't worry." The nurse said, comforting him and helping him towards the exit. Shinji looked back at Asuka, the doctors had restrained her enough, and were administering the sedatives.

"-ate!" Asuka winced, as a shot entered her arm. "Hate!" She said again, her voice getting louder. "I hate...!" She raised her voice to just below a scream. "_I HATE EVERYONE!_" She finally screamed at the top of her lungs, as the last of the sedatives entered her body.

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

"Asuka, what happened to you?" Shinji ask out loud, reaching out to her, and that was when he realized he was outside whatever was going on. Thus, he couldn't do anything, not even touch the walls of Asuka's medical room. Every time he tried, an invisible bubble prevented him. If he tried pushing harder on the invisible bubble, it would knock his hand back, the same way as an Absolute Terror Field. He wasn't about to give up.

"Asuka!" He cried out. "Over here!" _Oh right, she's unconscious._ He realized after he tried waving at her; now he felt like an idiot. Watching as the doctors fretted over her, he was suddenly pulled away by some strong current, like a wave, that whisked him outside of Asuka's room.

"Hey! Wha-!" He was about to shout to someone, but remembered that there was nobody else but him and it would be pointless. It were as if he were viewing a memory buried deep inside his mind, one that he couldn't interact with; only drawing conclusions from it as a spectator.

As he thought about it, he heard a soft thud as a door was being closed and he turned his attention back to the scene at hand.

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

The door closed behind Shinji, as he slumped against it, touching his cheek. When he took his had away there was blood, and he thought that seeing that on his hand was fitting for what he had done to Asuka earlier that morning; when he had let his urges out at seeing her bare chest and sleeping face. It was his atonement for his masturbation of her feelings and his own. He wiped his face off with his forearms; the scratch stung. He slumped lower against the door, staring at his outstretched hand once again, like before.

"_Asuka..._"

_It seems... that I..._

Tears formed at the corners of his eyes as he continued to stare at his hand, which still had speckles of blood on it.

_… lost her too._

His tear drops washed the blood away.

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

"_I lost Asuka?_" Shinji gasped, his mind going back to when his father had forcibly enacted the Dummy System to eliminate Unit 03, and with it, he had tried to take care of Asuka as well. His disbelief turned to anger as he remembered that day...

* * *

Outskirts of Tokyo-3. 2018.

* * *

"Asuka's still in there..." Shinji responded through clenched teeth, as the infected Unit 03 held Unit 01 down by the throat. "...I won't do it!"

On the display, Gendo replied unwaveringly. "It doesn't matter. That is an Angel. It's our _enemy_, and _that_ is what matters."

Shinji struggled greatly to shake his head, the feeling of his neck being squeezed make it harder and harder for him to breath. "_No!_ I won't murder Asuka!"

"Then you're going to _die._"

"_I'd rather die than kill her!_" Shinji shouted back as best he could. He heard voices on the other line, but he couldn't make them out as he was focusing all of his energy on not passing out. The imprints on his neck became deeper as Unit 03 choked harder; he wouldn't be able to take much more.

Just then, the entry plug went offline, and everything went silent as he was released from the death grip. His eyes went wide in alarm as something behind his seat activated itself. He gasped as whatever it was took control of the piloting levers.

"What's going on?!" He tried prying them off, but they won't budge; being locked in place. As he still attempted to pry them off, something loomed over his head to appear in front. "Wha-?" A screen came on that read _"DMYSYM Golgotha Base Built" _in slowing bright green letters with a symbol behind that looked like an entry plug. Unit 01's entry plug started moving, going deeper into the confines of the Evangelion.

A wave of anger sailed across Shinji's face as he realized his father was behind this sudden turn of events, and he sharply looked all around him; searching for his father's face on the display, but there was nothing. Nothing, not even the display, only red lines going ahead rapidly along an even deeper red backgroud. Shinji became even angrier. "_What are you doing, Dad?!_" He got no response. Instead, he heard noises coming from outside, as Unit 01 tore Unit 03's multiple hands away from its throat; pushing it back. Shinji tried to see what was happening, peering around the screen that was positioned in front of him. His face had now lost its angry appearance, replaced by a look of horror. The sounds became more violent and brutal as Unit 01 was tossing Unit 03 around, pinning it to the ground and tearing off its armor plating. There were mangling and ripping sounds as Unit 01 bit into its tissue and muscle, pulling out intestines and tossing them like chew toys across the outlying buildings of Tokyo-3. A crushing sound was heard as Unit 01 obliterated Unit 03's head underneath her mighty palm; LCL spewing out in every direction and bathing Unit 01 in a red shower. In triumph, Unit 01 let out an inhuman howl of victory, but didn't stop there. She proceeded to dismember her defeated opponent, mercilessly tearing off one of its arms and tossing it like she did with its intestines minutes before. Shinji heard all these sounds, looking all around him now in complete horror.

"What is this Dad?" He asked loudly. No response "What is this?" He asked again, louder this time. Again, no response. Only the sounds of Unit 01 destroying her target. "_What are you doing?!_" Still getting no response, he pulled on one of the levers in distress. "_Dammit!_" The sounds were ringing in his ears, and he couldn't take it anymore; it was killing him. "St-" He started, closing his eyes, his voice barely a whisper. "Please Sto-" He mumbled. "Please stop!" He said firmly, his eyes shut tight. For a fourth time, no response. "Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!" His voice was gradually getting louder with each plead, as he now frantically pulled on the piloting levels, swinging back and forth as he yanked on them. "_Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!_ _STOP!" _He cried, screaming now with all his might. There was a clanging sound as Unit 01 lifted something up in its mouth, and stood straight, holding whatever it was to the sky. "What's that sound?!" Shinji screamed, as Unit 01 started crushing with its jaw. _Asuka's entry plug!_ He realized, his eyes going wide. "_STOP IT! DON'T!_" He yelled at Unit 01; to no avail. A second later a blood wrenching was heard as Unit 01 completed its task. Tears welled in Shinji's eyes as he pleaded desperately. "_STOP IT!_" He croaked, sobbing as he realized it was already too late. Bowing his head, the Dummy System shut itself off and left him to wallow in the darkness of his entry plug. _No..._

_Asuka..._

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

A tear formed at the corner of Shinji's eye as he quickly wiped it away, with a controlled determination. _I won't let __anything like that__ happen ever again! _He looked on in anger outside his bubble, watching himself against the door to Asuka's medical room. _Never again._


	10. Close Proximity, Distant Feelings

**Stage Eight: Close Proximity, Distant Feelings**

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2032.

* * *

_There's that boy again. _Rei thought as she glanced down at a silver-haired boy playing on a piano. On the chipped stone slabs below, underneath the rusted metal of the floor, grass grew. A reddish green grass that make her sick to her stomach. Yet, she didn't know why it did.

She continued to look down at the boy, her mind collecting the broken thoughts from her latest dream. One that she couldn't trace.

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

Rei followed behind Gendo, having just arrived at NERV Headquarters moments earlier. The Commander had something on his mind, but he didn't reveal anything regarding it. They were walking through the medical wing, but she didn't know exactly where they were going. She didn't care about the Commander, he was unimportant to her. All she saw when she looked at him, was Ikari. Why did she feel the urge to see Ikari? They were the second's feelings, not her own. Yet, they _were_ her own at the same time, she summarized. If so, would she be able to hold his hand a fifth time?

"Commander Ikari, where is the Third Child?" She asked as they silently walked down a straight hallway that seemingly went on forever.

"That's unimportant. What _is_ important is where we are going now, Rei." He replied without looking back or slowing his pace. "Captain Katsuragi will see to it that he is accounted for."

Rei didn't reply, she didn't need to after all. That was all the Commander was going to say on the matter and it was dropped as quickly as it was brought up. She looked down at her hand, hanging freely at her side, then back at the Commander. She stared into his black uniform, seeing nothing. There was nothing to see, after all, for her.

After what seemed like an eternity the hallway finally split one way to the left, to a separate wing. Rei remembered this particular wing, it was where the Eva Pilots went for emergency treatment. She also remembered that this was were the Second Child was confined in her comatose state. She hadn't interacted with the Second Child all that much, and felt it best not to see her, her well-being wasn't her concern after all. As they came closer to the adjoining hallway, she thought more about Ikari. She recalled the first time _she _had met him.

Rei touched the window frame of NERV's medical wing, outside of her operation room. She had just been cleared and was wrapped in bandages from injuries sustained to the right arm and the left eye primarily. She looked out the window at the scenery below, feeling nothing.

"Ayanami!" A voice called to her, as she turned to see who it was.

She didn't recognize him right away, but somewhere deep in her mind something told her that his name was Shinji. Shinji Ikari, the designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 01 and Commander Ikari's son. Her face was expressionless as he reached her by the window, a smile on his face.

"I'm so glad you're okay." He was bent over, catching is breath, and his hands were on his knees from rushing to see her. "I guess my dad's not here." He looked around. "Thank you for saving me." He said, focusing his attention back to her.

"What do you mean?" She replied, she didn't remember doing anything like that.

"What do I mean? You sacrificed Unit 00 to save me."

"I see, so I saved you." She still didn't remember it, but it must have happened based on what he was telling her.

"Yeah, don't you remember?"

"No, I just don't know." She knew why that was, it was obvious to her. "Because I think I'm probably the third one."

They hadn't talked much after that first exchange. Recalling it now, she wondered why that was, but she knew already. It was because she was the third. They came up to the separate wing, and as they went past it Rei happened to glance over...

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

Shinji, turned his attention away from his form, his other self, against Asuka's medical door, to look around the hallway. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there waiting for his other self to do something, but he was getting uneasy looking at himself like that.

_Have I always been like that?_ He thought, just as he spotted two figures down the hall. _His father... and Rei! _He smiled happily, glad to see her.

"Rei!" He called out. Again, he realized that it was no use, as nobody could see or hear him. He began to believe these were past events; events that already happened a long time ago.

_Rei..._

* * *

NERV Medical Wing. 2016.

* * *

Shinji, still slumping against Asuka's door, heard footsteps approaching to his left. He looked up to see who it was. He saw his father, and behind him... _was __Rei_! He was about to call out to her, but then he remember in his disillusioned state that the Rei now wasn't the Rei he had known. The Rei he had known was dead, and that was the end of it. This new Rei glanced over at him as he came into her view. Her face was expressionless, he couldn't read anything from it and didn't bother trying to. As quickly as she had glanced over she was back to staring at his father's back, following him, and as quickly as the two of them had appeared they were gone again, down whatever path they were headed. Shinji bowed his head and stared at his outstretched hand, which was still wet from his tears, and cried quietly to himself.

_I don't know what to do anymore, __Mother__..._

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2032.

* * *

Her memory ended right after she turned away from the forlorn looking boy, everything else after was hazy. Or rather, it wasn't even there to begin with, as she had abruptly woken up that morning, on cue for her LCL Tank session. It were as if it was coded into her brain to wake up at that specific time each morning; not even her dreams could override that urge. In fact, that was where she was headed now, and she happened to get sidetracked by the piano. The boy was playing a tune she would always stop and listen to, and she couldn't place her finger on why that was.

Her LCL Tank sessions helped to clear her mind and think, amongst other things. Without breaking her stride, she walked down the decrepit corridor, prepared for a long session this time around.


	11. Beginning Of The End

**Stage Nine: Beginning Of The End**

* * *

Misato's dormitory. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility 2020.

* * *

Sleeping on her desk, Misato had fallen asleep from too much workload. She snored loudly, getting drool all over the documents and reports she had been trying to complete. Scratching her nose, and mumbling to herself, she was lost in her dreams.

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

Misato lay in an entanglement of wires and circuit boards, scouring through the NERV's databanks with her laptop, which has hooked up to the Magi's systems. Using the security codes and cracks that Kaji had discovered, it was relatively easy for her to get in. She surfed around, searching for any information on Human Instrumentality and, more specifically, the Second Impact. Looking through the countless stacks of data, one thing caught her eye.

Confidential

Second Ancestral Awakening

September 13, 2000

0600 Hours

Adam of the White Moon, the first Seed of Life to land on Earth's Surface was discovered submerged and frozen at the South Pole. SEELE funded a research team, headed by Dr. Katsuragi, to investigate and gather samples. Upon examination of Adam, the Katsuragi Research Team unwittingly awakened the sleeping Seed of Life, and in their attempts to reseal it using the Lance of Longinus, had failed. A complete catastrophe was only prevented, ultimately, by the unusual phenomenon of the S 2 Engine that the research team brought along for their study of Adam. Reports suggest that the S 2 Engine went into an artificial overdrive status, and thus, a complete annihilation of humanity was averted. Unsurprisingly, the incident resulted in the loss of Dr. Katsuragi and his entire team, and surprisingly, the only survivor that was found was not a part of Dr. Katsuragi's research team. Information gathered classifies the lone survivor of the incident as one Misato Katsuragi, daughter of Dr. Katsuragi. Upon securing her, she never answered any of our questions involving specifically what the research team did to awaken Adam or how exactly they averted a complete catastrophe. No amount of probing got her to talk, she was apparently rendered mute from the incident. Instead, SEELE procured priority to securing the first Seed of Life. This incident will officially be referred to as the Second Impact and Adam will hence be known as the First Angel.

"So, that's what really happened during Second Impact." Misato said, things making sense now in her mind. Her mind went back to that day, which she had tried suppressing any memory of since it happened.

She had hated her father, for bringing her along only to ignore her and focus on his research. What was the point of bringing her along then? She held her pendant, smiling softly as she remembered that day...

That day, she had hated him the most in her entire life, and she thought that would never change. She didn't care for his research, only that it was the cause of her family's problems and her mother's lonesomeness, and for his obsession with it. He was searching for things through means of science unknown to her, and that just drew them closer apart. For that, she had hated him. That was before the sky turned red and the ocean was a raging storm of destruction. Debris had hit her on the head and she was lying on her back, when she felt herself being lifted. The only thing she saw was his face, full of worry for his daughter. His pendant bounced around on its string around his neck as she realized he was running, _fast_, but she didn't know where. Blood trickled down her forehead and she felt its warmth as it rolled in between her eyes and down the corners of her nose. Before she knew it, she was inside a capsule, and was staring up at her father. He held out his pendant, a silver cross, thrusting it in her face to take it, before a wave of destruction washed over him. Right before he was taken by its strong current, he dropped the pendant on her lap, and shut the capsule door. She had fallen unconscious after that, blacking out from her head injury. When she woke sometime later, she was still inside the capsule, it was dark and was swaying in the sea. She opened the hatch, only to be greeted by a red sky and a red sea, and nothing else in sight. Clutching her father's pendant close to her chest, she realized in that moment that he had saved her, and in that moment, she realized that she had loved him more than ever.

Shrugging the memory off, she poised her fingers on the keyboard, wanting to probe deeper for more clues. Before she could do so, the screen flashed red with alert signals, and all information was quickly deleted.

_Did they notice me?!_

Misato sprang up, reaching for her sidearm tangled amongst the wires. She looked toward the exits in the narrow space she was occupying, searching for any signs of danger. She didn't see anyone approaching or any lights being shone. The walls all around her flashed red, lines of data being deleted at alarming rates, the only cause of this would be an incursion by SEELE. Misato gripped the handle of her sidearm tighter, glancing down at the beer can she inadvertently spilled in her haste. The alcohol had seeped over the circuits, dripping between crevices and gaps. It wouldn't case any harm, but she was irritated as that was her last one left.

_It's started..._

She checked her sidearm, a Hecklar & Koch USP, inspecting the chamber and magazine for the coming raid.

* * *

Nagano. 2020.

* * *

Misato's eyes drooped as she struggled to stay awake, her head bopping up and down. She was trying to focus on what Ritsuko was telling her across the table, but couldn't as she started to fall asleep again.

"_Hey!_" Ritsuko snapped her fingers in front of Misato's face. "Wake up!" She leaned back, crossing her arms in annoyance. "This isn't the time to be sleeping."

"Just give me five more minutes," Misato rubbed her eyes, her voice a mumble.

"No. You need to hear this _now._" Ritsuko replied, losing her patience and jabbing a finger at her colleague. "It's important."

Misato stood up straighter, forcing the grogginess out of her system. She looked shakily at Ritsuko for a second, her form blurry, then clearer as she slowly regained her senses. "What is it?" She sighed.

Ritsuko leaned forward again, now that Misato felt like paying attention. "It's about the dreams we've all been having recently." She began. "I noticed an irregular fluctuation in the electrochemical pulses between the time we have them and our memories." Taking the report she had in her hands, she indicated toward a graph that sailed steadily upward, then abruptly back down again as it got closer to the end. "This is a statistic of what happens." She drew her finger across the upward slope of the line. "Here is where we enter the dream state, where it peaks at the very top." Stopping at the top, she moved her finger across a squiggle that remained constant. "Then, there is a point where it stays there. This is where the fluctuations occur the greatest." Lastly, she went along the dip that the line dropped off near the end, which went all the way back down to the zero mark. "Finally, it comes down suddenly, as if the flow were suddenly being severed," Sliding the paper towards Misato so she could get a better look, Ritsuko took a cigarette out of her lab pocket and lit it. "As if our memories are trying to block out the dreams," She took a drag of her cigarette before continuing, blowing grey smoke into the air. "Strange, isn't it?"

Misato glanced over the report, still a little drowsy, before addressing her colleague. "Yeah, hey..." She turned her eyes to Ritsuko, as she moved the paper to the side. "What's this all about NERV being reorganized that I've been hearing about?"

Not surprised that Misato changed the subject, Ritsuko smiled softly at her friend. Science was not her strong suit, _that's for sure._ "That? Yes, the Japanese government, or what's left of it anyway," She took one last drag of her cigarette before snuffing it out in an ashtray on the table. "Is disbanding NERV by the latest as next year, and is ordering us to cease all operations, after what happened with Eva Unit 01."

"Still nothing on Shinji and Rei, and they want to shut us down?" Misato slammed her fist on the table. "Not to mention Asuka! We should at least be figuring out what's wrong with her, if anything!"

"I agree, but the government thinks otherwise."

"Well, I'll be _damned_ if I let them have their way!" Misato leaned back into her chair in frustration. "I'm _not_ giving up on our pilots."

Ritsuko glanced away from her, at the bar they were in, which was practically empty besides the two of them. "_We can only hope, right?_" She ended the conversation on that note, gazing distantly at nothing in particular.

The night air was chilly, as the two of them sat quietly in the dimness of the bar.


	12. The Magi System

**Stage Ten: The Magi System**

* * *

Misato's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

"Disbandment of NERV, huh?" Misato said softly to herself, staring down at Pen Pen beside her bed. "Hey Pen Pen..." The penguin tilted his head, as if to say _"What?"_. "What do you think about it?"

He blinked, as if he were thinking of an answer. After a minute or two, he shook his head and squawked, then pattered off to do his own things, as if he were already done with questions for today.

Misato sighed lazily, groaning as she stretched on the side of her bed. _I can't believe it's already been two years!_ She yawned, arching her back. _Relocation to this place brings up less than pleasant memories. _She frowned, glancing down at her arm; the one she had broken that time. _Now that I think about it, the Angels haven't come back since Shinji and Rei disappeared. _She yawned again, as sleep started to get the better of her. An annoyed expression came across her face right after. _And what's with those stupid dreams? I can't remember most of anything from them! But, every time I do remember something, it feels like it actually happened! From what Ritsuko said, everyone, from NERV at least, has been having similar dreams that go away as soon as they wake up._ Misato scratched her head, then shrugged.

"Well whatever," She fell back on her bed with a springy thud. _Stupid cheap matresses!_ She complained in her head, rubbing her back. The moment of anger passed, as she was too tired to stur up enough energy to get mad, and, instead, continued her thought. _I'll just figure it out in the morning. _She sighed, closing her eyes warily as sleep overtook her tired body.

* * *

NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

"Status report." Misato ordered over her cellphone. There was slight static on the other end, but it quickly dissipated as Hyuga's voice came in from the other side.

"Good morning Ms. Katsuragi. Tokyo-2 launched Special Order A-801."

"801?" Misato repeated, walking down the hallway with haste, no wanting to waste any precious time.

"NERV's legal protection and jurisdiction have been rescinded..."

"Rescinded?"

"... and command has been transferred to the Japanese Government. That was the last warning." There a shifting sound as the phone was given to someone else.

"Ibuki here. They tried to take the Magi, but we've managed to seal off the damage so far."

"The Magi..." Misato's thoughts went back to her searching in NERV's systems. _So they _were_ after the Magi.. _

"Dr. Akagi is currently installing addition defensive programs. She should-"

"_Ritsuko?!_" Misato exclaimed as she came up the lift onto the Communications Bridge, causing Ibuki and Hyuga to turn around in surprise.

Ritsuko sat inside the Magi system, plugging away on her laptop, which was connected to the Magi's main circuits. She concentrated as she entered in sequence after sequence, averting the attack by SEELE on the system little by little and applying defensive layers to keep them occupied while she installed more defensive protocols. _Am I doing something stupid? _She thought as she typed away.

Her mind flashed back to memories of her mother, memories that she didn't need. Her faults at never finding a person she could truly love, instead confiding her love in the Commander, which proved in the end to be her demise. _The interaction between men and women is so illogical. _She summarized, finishing another protocol string of data.

She paused for a second, removing her glasses. She looked up at the main hub of Magi system CASPER, the brain of this unit.

_Isn't that right..._

She stared at it longingly, then reached up her hand to touch it. Her hand went across its surface, a warm surface that was surprisingly cold everytime _she _touched it. It was always the same, no matter what she did. Ritsuko smiled faintly, feeling her mother's will as she rubbed the central hub.

_… Mother?_

_They won't stop at just the Magi system. _Misato thought as she sipped some coffee, waiting for Ritsuko to finish installing the defense measures. "How much longer?" She asked Hyuga, who was monitoring her progress.

"We should make it." He replied, looking over the data displayed on his station screen. The screen beeped, an indication that Ritsuko had finishing installing the last of the programs. "She's done it!"

"Dr. Akagi is amazing!" Ibuki exclaimed, tracking the Magi system as the defense program changed the overlay of red on the system into blue. "External feed to the Magi has been halted. A Danang B-Type Defense program is in place. External access has been cut off for the next sixty-two hours.

Crawling out of the spot she had been sitting in inside the main hub, Ritsuko took one last look at the CASPER unit. "I'll see you soon, Mother."

* * *

Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Ritsuko bolted upright in her chair, glanced all around as she tried to get a sense of where she was. Upon realizing that she was just in her office, she calmed down.

"Must have fallen asleep." She deduced, looking down at her pen smeared papers, and grabbing a napkin to wipe the ink that she guesses was also on her face. Throwing the napkin away, just as she was about to collect her papers to inspect how bad the smearing was, a teardrop fell. "_Wha-?_" She rubbed under her eyes, feeling liquid. _Have I been crying? _She wondered, staring at her now wet hand. _And why do __I feel so... _sentimental_ right now?_

Ritsuko continued to stare at her hand, as she tried to figure out the reason for her tears.


	13. Battle Stations

**Stage Eleven: Battle Stations**

NERV Headquarters shook with the sound of a hundred drums beating down in unison, alerts blared all around the base as the status of Headquarters was being monitored second by second and minute by minute.

"A large detachment of Special Force Units has invaded the outer defense perimeter!"

"Signals lost from radar feed sectors eight through seventeen!"

"Tech battalion penetrating through Goura inner defense perimeter!"

"Two more battalions also approaching from the Gotemba direction!"

Explosions further shook NERV Headquarters as more reports were being announced. Various teams inside the base were calling in their current situations, and that of the base itself.

"Fire in the Number 5 West entrance!"

"The Daigatake tunnel has been cut off!"

"_Hostile forces have entered Level One!_"

Gendo Ikari sat at his command seat in a steepling posture, seemingly unfazed by the attack. Rather, he had expected it, and was waiting for such an opportunity to arise. He looked at the large display screen on the far wall of the Communications Bridge, which had live feeds of everything going around in the base. Half of the feeds were showing static, as they went offline from external damage, caused by the attacking SEELE forces.

Vice Commander Fuyutsuki quietly sighed sadly to himself as he stood next to Gendo. "After all we've been through, our final enemy is our fellow man."

"All personnel go to Level One battle stations." Gendo ordered, now looking down at a three-dimensional layout of the area surrounding NERV Headquarters.

"Battle stations?!" Ibuki spun around, a look of surprise on her face. "But.." She glanced down at her display; uneasy. "They're _people_, just like us, not Angels..."

Hyuga glanced over at his fellow technician. "But the enemy doesn't think that way." He told her, going back to his own display.

Ibuki bit her lip softly, accepting the Commander's order, but at the same time denying it. Fighting Angels wasn't a problem for her, as they were nightmares that the human race needed to wake up from, so they could sleep at night without worry or fear. All the Angels have been destroyed, ending with that silver haired boy. At first, she had thought he was human, with his kind face and calm demeanor; there was no way he would turn out to be an Angel. Though, she was wrong, and she, as well as everyone else, almost paid dearly for it. Yet, she was certain that with his death, there would be no more need to worry about fighting. Her certainty was wrong, and now here she was, unable to move; scared. She bit her lip a little harder, closing her eyes, still gripping with the fact that humans just like them were attacking Headquarters.

"They're _humans_, just like _us_..." She murmured one last time under her breath, eyes downcast at her hands. _Just like us._

* * *

Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Maya Ibuki sat up in her bed, clutching her pink cat pillow close to her chest. _What are these feelings?_ She wondered. _Why do they feel so familiar?_

_ "_Why do I feel so sad, yet so angry at the same time?" She whispered into her pillow, the answer not one that could be solved without further delving into her heart, into her memories, and into her soul. Ibuki lay down on her bed, clutching her pink cat pillow close to her chest, eyes distant as she tried to think about her life up until now; her feelings. _I believe it all started when the sea started looking like a lake from hell. _


	14. Shimmering Pond, Dissipating Water

**Stage Twelve: Shimmering Pond, Dissipating Water**

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2016.

* * *

Rei gazed down at the pond in front of her, the calm quiet of the morning outside NERV Heaquarters keeping it steady. Looking back up was herself, yet it wasn't. It was someone else, something else; deep inside her consciousness, deep inside her heart, that was looking back up. Somewhere deep inside her soul. It was very clear as to what it was; _her inner feelings._

_Who is this? _She gazed at her own reflection, her crimson eyes blank. _This is me?_ _This is I. _Crouching down, she edged closer to the surface of the pond, studying her own reflection. Her form was that of humanity, that of man. _Man, made from man and woman. Two souls joining __together__. _She tilted her head slightly, before reaching out to touch the surface of the water, and herself in it. Almost immediately, just as she was about to skim the surface with her pale fingers, she reared her hand back, as if the pond were cursed. _What is a human? A creation of God? _She stared at her hand. _Is man a human creation? Am I a human creation? Or, am I a creation of God? _Turning her hand over, she inspected the back of it; the blue veins underneath. _I possess a life. A soul. No, I am a vessel for that life, for that soul. __Same as the first, same as the second, now as the third. __One soul, one life. _Her mind went back to a distant memory, one she herself didn't remember, but her soul. _The first._

"And this is Gehirn Headquarters." Gendo Ikari told the young Rei, as they both looked down through the floor windows at the installation. The year is 2010, the same year that Gehirn was reorganized and renamed into NERV.

Rei had a smile on her face, not really understanding everything that he was saying, as Dr. Akagi approached them from the other side of the hall, along with her daughter.

"Good morning, Director." She greeted, as the two of them looked up. "Did you bring you child today? Oh wait.." A surprised expression formed on her face as she looked down at the small figure. "...I-I could have sworn you had a son.."

Gendo put his hand on Rei's small shoulder. "No, this isn't Shinji. I've decided to take care of an acquaintance's child." He smiled softly. "Her name is Rei Ayanami." He introduced.

The four year old girl's smile was now a straight line across her face, as her mind processed the two women. _Who are they? _She pondered, as one of the women bent down, smiling towards her.

"Hello Rei, I'm Ritsuko!" She greeted.

Rei smiled back. _This one is kind. I like her._ She looked at the other woman, Dr. Akagi. The woman's surprised and slightly irritated expression caused her mouth to form a straight line again. _This one is mean. I dislike her._

The Communications Bridge of Gehirn, overlooking the Magi system; the units of CASPER, BALTHASAR, and MELCHIOR. Rei gazed at the woman sitting in her chair, the woman's own gaze was distant as she was deep in thought, looking down at her completed creation. Rei felt nothing but disdain for this woman, but at the same time she felt nothing. Nothing at all. The woman turned abruptly, noticing the small figure staring intensely at her for the first time since she sat down.

"Uh..." She leaned forward in surprise, then quickly smiled warmly at the girl. Yet, just below the surface, she was irritated beyond any rational sense. "Did you need me for something, Rei?" She asked politely.

Rei looked at her for a second before responding. "I lost my way, doctor."

"Is that so? Do you want to come with me then?" Dr. Akagi leaned forward further in her chair, still smiling. "I can help you find your way."

Again, Rei looked at her for a second before responding. "No thanks."

"But how will you get home all by yourself?"

"That's none of your business." This time, Rei responded immediately. "_Old hag._"

Dr. Akagi leaned back in her chair, not sure if she had heard that right. "Old hag...?" She said under her breath

Rei didn't skip a beat. "I can find my way by myself." She had no smile on her face, just a straight line. "_Old hag._"

The doctor leaned back some more, still stunned. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You shouldn't call someone an old hag, Rei."

"But you are an old hag, aren't you?"

Dr. Akagi's irritation came to the surface, as she eased shakingly all the way back into her chair. "I'm getting mad." She tried to keep her composure, but the irritation was getting worse by the second. "Commander Ikari will spank you, you little-"

"The Commander is the one who calls you that." Rei said, cutting her off. Her eyes narrowed as the woman's face lit up with surprise. A small smiled formed on her lips as she continued. "He says: _'That old hag is annoying'_, _'That old hag is unreliable'_, _'That old hag is no use'_, _'That old hag is not needed'._"

_That old hag is annoying. That old hag is no use. Annoying. No use. Annoying. No use. Annoying. No use; that old hag is unreliable. That old hag is not needed. Unreliable. Not needed. Unreliable. Not needed. Unreliable. Not needed. _These were the only words registering in Dr. Akagi's brain as Rei talked, the words repeating over and over again in Rei's voice. No, now they were repeating in Yui's voice. The woman she hated the most. Dr. Akagi sat still, her shaking had stopped, but she couldn't get the words out of her head. _Old hag. Annoying. Unreliable. No use. Not needed. Old hag. Not needed. No use. Unreliable. Annoying. _The next think she knew, her hands were around Rei's small throat, gripping tighter and tighter, sealing off the child's air flow, and with it, her voice. A voice that she hated. A voice that she couldn't stand. _A voice that irritated her to no end._

"_You little bitch!_" She roared in anger, choking the life out of the small figure in her grasp. "_You're a replacement! Don't you see!?"_ She grasped harder, as the small figure's struggling breaths became quieter, and quieter, _and quieter._ "_Just like me, you're only a replacement to him!_" There was no response, not even a breath, as Rei's hands fell limply at her sides.

Dr. Akagi's eyes went wide as she realized what she had done. She looked at the her own hands still grasping tightly around Rei's broken neck; in horror. "Wha.." She let go of Rei's neck, the child's small figure collapsing to the ground with a tiny thud. She was light. "What have I..." Dr. Akagi stared at her own hands, the hands which had killed Rei Ayanami. "What have I done?" She sobbed, as her mind went blank, and her thoughts became shattered, floating around every which way. She looked down at the small figure sprawled on the ground, her neck at an odd angle, then behind herself, at her chair. She stumbled over to it listlessly, catching herself on the ledge with her shaking fingers. Below her, the Magi system stared up at her. She gazed down distantly at the three units, remembering the conversation she had with Ritsuko only mere minutes before. Before Rei had wandered in. She remembered the words she had said to her daughter, about the Magi system.

_Myself as a scientist, myself as a mother, and myself as a woman._

It was the first genuine talk she had ever had with her daughter since starting work at Gehirn, Dr. Akagi realized; smiling sadly. She stood on top of the ledge, remembering their conversation. She smiled happily one last time before closing her eyes and stepping off the ledge.

"The three faces of mother." Ritsuko remarked, turning to Dr. Akagi. "And now the only thing left to do is turn on the power."

"Mmm-hmm." Dr. Akagi nodded, looking down.

"The interaction of men and women isn't very illogical." Ritsuko said, gathering up her clipboard and papers.

Dr. Akagi turned, a smile on her face as she tilted her head slightly towards her daughter. "You're always so analytical and cool about these things." She looked down at the Magi system again, then back at her daughter. "Aren't you afraid you might lose your chance at happiness?"

Ritsuko looked at her mother. "First, I have to find the definition of happiness." She smiled back. "It's been awhile since I've been out." She finished, turning on her heel to leave.

"Well, have a good one." Dr. Akagi called to her, waving her off.

_And now, that genuine talk was the last one she'd ever have._

Rei reeled back from the depths of her consciousness the moment the first took her last breath. _The presence of someone who is not me. The first. The second. I am the third. _She put her hand in the water, her reflection becoming rippled from the contact as the water gently swirled around her fingers. _This is the me that can be seen. That I can see. Yet, I feel as though I am not myself. Yet, I am myself. Very strange. _She thought, feeling the coldness of the water. _Is someone there, beyond this? Beyond me? _In her mind, various people flashed before her eyes as she looked at her broken up reflection in the water.

A boy with brown hair. _Ikari?_ A woman with dark brown, almost black, hair. _Major Katsuragi._ A woman with blonde hair, dyed in rejection of her natural dark auburn color. _Dr. Akagi._ The faces of everyone in her school. _Everyone, classmates._ A girl with strawberry red hair. _The pilot of Unit 02._ A man with black hair. _Commander Ikari? _

_Then..._

Rei took her hand out the pond, staring at it; dripping with cold water that she now felt.

_...who am I?_

She moved her fingers slowly, then clenched her wet hand into a cold fist.

"That's right. I am the third." She said, getting up and staring behind herself, back at NERV Headquarters. She heard the sound of explosions, her crimson eyes filling with a determination that was never there before.

_I am the third. Rei Ayanami._


	15. Where Three Are Gathered In My Name

**Stage Thirteen: Where Three Are Gathered In My Name**

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2032.

* * *

The pond was all but dried up, any water left murky and ash ridden. Rei gazed into what once was the pond, now only a shallow crater full of muddy soil; cracks and abrasions. It was an area of desolated hopes and shattered dreams, of wanting sorrow and wallowing misery; ashen and bare. She gazed into the murky water gathered near the epicenter, a miniscule compound of hydrogen and oxygen pooled together. What once carried hope, now carried despair.

_The third. _Rei thought in puzzlement, tried to see her own reflection in the pond. _What does it mean? _There was no reflection, just the murky water staring back at her. _The second. The first. Who are these forms that I don't recognize? _She held up her hand, moving her fingers. _What is a vessel? What is a soul?_

"There you are, Vessel of Lilith." A voice greeted behind her.

_Vessel of... Lilith? _Rei looked over her shoulder, at the boy with the silver hair; hands in his pockets. _What does he mean?_

The silver-haired boy stared into her crimson eyes with his own. "What are you doing?" He asked politely, glancing up over her shoulder. "Ah," He said, upon seeing the pond. "Trying to figure it all out, I see."

Rei put her hand down, "Figure... out?" She replied, confused.

"Your existence." The silver-haired boy smiled. Slowly walking over to where Rei was standing, he gazed into the pond himself. "And the meaning behind it." He glanced at the blue-haired girl, a knowing edge to his smile. "After all, it isn't over yet."

Turning to face her, the silver-haired boy took one last look, before walking away. As he walked, hands in his pockets, he hummed a tune; reminiscent of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

_Thy magic power re-unites,_

_All that custom has divided,_

_All men become brothers,_

_Under the sway of thy gentle wings._

He continued to hum, changing rhythm as the distance between the two of them grew greater and greater.

_Brothers, above the starry canopy,_

_There must dwell a loving Father,_

_Seek Him in the heavens,_

_Above the stars He must dwell._

Rei watched him until he was a speck in the distance, then looked up towards the mid-evening sky. _Three of I, one of me. So then, which three are they, and which one are I? _She clutched her arm loosely, as she saw that the dim lights in the sky were stars.


	16. Priority

**Stage Fourteen: Priority**

* * *

Main Communications Bridge. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

"The west side attack is a decoy!" Misato shouted over Hyuga's shoulder, searching the live feeds for any sign of Asuka, Rei, or Shinji. "If they're after the Evas, then they'll go after the pilots first!" She bent down to get eye level with Hyuga, who was listening to her ever word, ready to act upon any order. "Have Shinji stand by in Unit 01!"

"Roger!"

Misato straightened herself upright, staring at the live feeds again, still searching for the Eva pilots. _Where the hell are they?!_ She weighed the question in her mind, her eyes darting from live feed to live feed; still searching. _If they get the pilots, then not only will we have lost, humanity itself will have lost as well! Human Instrumentality, no matter what, it can't be completed! _She quickly glared over her shoulder at Commander Ikari, narrowing her eyes. _Whatever you're planning, it's just as bad as what SEELE is trying to do. I won't allow that to happen!_

"Where's Asuka!?" Misato turned to Aoba, who immediately responded.

"Still in Recovery Room 303. Group Four is guarding her."

"Tell Group Four to get her into Unit 02 right now!"

"But... she's in no condition to pilot Unit 02!" Ibuki chimed in, spinning in her chair to face Major Katsuragi. "Her synchronization rate is-!"

"The inside of her Eva is the best place to keep her safe." Misato flashed her gaze onto First Lieutenant Ibuki, turning her head slightly to get a better view of the young woman. "If they find her, she _will_ be killed."

"Understood." Ibuki spun back around, moving to relay the message to Group Four.

"Once she's inside Unit 02, hide her at the bottom of the lake." Misato leaned over Hyuga's shoulder again, looking for Rei on the live feeds. She straightened upright again, turning to Aoba. "Where's Rei!?"

"Unknown, we can't confirm where she is!"

_Dammit. At this rate, she'll be killed!_ Misato's agitation boiled to the surface as she grew more impatient with the current situation. "Find her, _now._" She turned back to the live feeds, searching the live feed of Unit 01's cage, to see if Shinji made it to Unit 01 yet. There was no sign of him. _God-dammit! Where the hell is that boy?!_

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

He could hear the alarms, as he looked down with contempt at himself. _People need you, what are you doing?!_

"Get up!" Shinji yelled at his other self. Though, for all his yelling and burning passion, all he could do was watch. Watching the scene unfold before his eyes; Shinji gritted his teeth. _Dammit._

* * *

Lounging Area. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

Shinji sat on the lounging bench next to the vending machines, his head downcast as he thought. _I've lost everyone._ Alarms blared, as he noticed them for the first time.

"General quarters. Level One battle stations. Repeat. General quarters. Level One battle stations."

_Something is going on again._ Shinji thought, gazing up at the alarm speakers. "Battle stations..." His brown eyes were distant as he spoke. "I have to get to Unit 01." He looked down again, no energy in his system. "But, what should I do." He looked down at his hand. "My body just won't move, _Asuka_..."

* * *

Main Communications Bridge. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

"Release Bakelite in all passages through section 803!" Misato ordered to Aoba.

"Right!" He responded, turning back to his display.

"Commencing Bakelite release in sections 703 to 710, thirty seconds until completion." He called out. "Commencing Bakelite release in sections 717 to 724." He said moments later.

"Good, keep that up. It should buy us some time."

"They've finished loading Asuka!" Ibuki called out. "Launching Unit 02!" Her eyes were glued to her display. "Destination is set for seventy meters underwater via Route 8!"

"This is brutal! I'd rather be fighting the Angels!" Hyuga remarked.

_Well, of course. We're not used to fighting human enemies. _Misato thought agreeably. "Any status on Shinji?"

"He hasn't made it to Unit 01 yet." Hyuga answered, bringing up a live feed of a figure sitting on a bench. He looked down at his display quickly. "Major Katsuragi! Route 47 is completely blocked!" He turned to her. "He's unable to advance. Shinji is cut off!"

Misato narrowed her eyes, annoyed. "All non-combat personnel should avoid engaging the enemy." She said, moving to pull out her sidearm. "These guys are pros." She checked her clip, before sliding it back in. "So if you can't retreat to Central Dogma..." She did one last check of her weapon before holding it up. "...you're better off just surrendering." Leaning closer to Hyuga she whispered into his ear. "Take care of things here for me." She glanced back at the Commander – who was missing from his post. Instead Fuyutsuki was in command, standing alone. "I'm going to go get Shinji." She leaned back, standing up straight.

"Right."

"Aoba!" Misato turned to the First Lieutenant. "Continue searching for Rei!" She ordered as she left to go find Shinji.

"Got it!"

She looked back over her shoulder one last time at the technicians, this time addressing all three. "And _good luck_, you guys_._"


	17. Submergence

**Stage Fifteen: Submergence **

* * *

Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

"What you so gloomy for, Princess?" Mari asked, sliding beside Asuka on the bench. They had just finished their training for the day and were free to do what they wanted.

Asuka scowled, not wanting to be bothered, especially by_ Four-Eyes_. "Go away." She huffed, pressing buttons on her handheld game, trying to ignore the annoying brunette that was practically breathing down her neck.

Mari smiled playfully, easing off. "Have it your way, _Princess._" She grew out the word "Princess", as she made an over-exaggerated curtsey, getting up. "I'll just go bother Kaworu then, he's sure to want to start a talk with _moi._" She indicated towards herself in a prissy fashion, as if she were royalty; mocking the nickname she gave Asuka. "Smells nice too." She winked, before turning and prancing off.

_Nosy bitch._ Asuka hit the buttons of her handheld harder, but hit them too hard, as she ended up smashing them into the holes they popped out of; sticking them flat. _God-dammit!_ Asuka tried clawing them out, but they wouldn't pop back out. "_Agh!_" She threw the handheld down, proceeding to stomp on it repeatedly. "Stupid thing!" In a fit, it were as if steam was billowing out from her ears. "_Stupid Shin-!_" She stopped abruptly in her rage, as she remembered that Shinji was gone. Removing her foot, the handheld was destroyed; flattened. Asuka looked at it distantly, as her mind went back to the dream she had a few nights before.

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2016.

* * *

Seventy meters underwater, deep down, the red demon lay still. Deep down, in the lake, the comatose girl slept. She sat inside her entry plug, unmoving, as she dreamed; her memories of recent events coming to the surface once again.

Asuka had her head on the table, absentmindedly tapping her finger on its hard wooden surface. She stared at the boy sitting in the door frame to Misato's room, reading his book and listening to his cassette player. He was absorbed into whatever the book was about, but frankly she could care less what it was. After all, his reading level was probably far beneath her own, and plus, she didn't even _like_ to read; too boring. She was bored now, tapping her finger on the table, just staring at him.

"Hey Shinji..." She averted her eyes from him, focusing on the table's surface. "...do you want to kiss?" She focused back on him, not really expecting anything.

"What?" He asked, removing his headphones and resting his book on his lap, holding the page he was on down with his finger so he didn't lose it.

"Kiss. You know, a kiss?" Asuka replied, her head still on the table. "You never kissed before, right?"

Shinji nodded his head, sitting up straight to face her better.

"Then, let's do it." Asuka lifted herself up, sitting up straight herself in her chair.

"What? _Why?_" Shinji leaned backward in surprise, taken off guard by such an odd request.

Asuka blinked. "Because I'm bored..."

"_'__Because I'm b__or__ed'_, you say...?!" Shinji repeated, looking away from her. "But..."

Asuka tilted her head very slightly, pondering his action. "You don't want to kiss on the anniversary of your mom's death, do you?" She asked, lifting her head back up, a slightly mocking expression on her face. "Do you think she might be watching us from Heaven?"

"No." Shinji responded pointedly, still facing away from her. "Not really."

Asuka leaned forward in her chair, resting her arm over the top of the chair's back for support. "Or are you scared?" She smirked, raising her eyebrows in a more mocking fashion than before.

"I'm not scared of a little kiss!" Shinji stated firmly, standing up abruptly.

"You brushed your teeth, didn't you?" Asuka asked, getting up from her chair as well.

Shinji nodded his head again, looking her straight in the eyes.

Asuka's expression went blank as she responded. "Then, here I go." Her face suddenly lit up with the fiery determination she always held close, as she stepped forward.

Shinji stood still as she came face to face with him, blinking twice. They stared into each other's eyes for couple of seconds. After another second, Asuka leaned in closer, edging her lips closer to his, before suddenly stopping midway to his nose.

"Don't breath, because it tickles."

Shinji blushed, as Asuka edged back a little. Before Shinji could react, Asuka grabbed his nose and closed his nostrils together, cutting off his air flow. Then, she quickly edged all the way in, touching their lips together. Both of his ways to breath cut off, Shinji couldn't breath, as Asuka continued to hold the kiss. He listened to the music in the background as his face turned a light shade of red. He felt the soft touch of her lips as his face turned a medium shade of purple. He heard Pen-Pen stumble into the room, uninterested by whatever they were doing. Clenching his hand into a fist, he resisted the urge to grab Asuka in an embrace, as he turned a deeper shade of purple. Unclenching his hand, he tried his best to resist the urge to hold her, and finally got to get a breath in as Asuka let go of his nose. He stumbled back, gasping for air. He looked at Asuka, who quickly turned and ran into the hallway, and into the bathroom. Hearing gurgling sounds, he wondered what she was doing.

"Definitely something not to do to kill time!" Asuka shouted from the bathroom, spitting out the mouthwash she had been swishing around in her mouth. Though, in reality, she was disappointed.

Inside the bathroom, Asuka stared into the sink drain, gripping her hands tightly on the sides of the sink; _upset._ _Stupid Shinji. You didn't even try!_

More memories came flooding back to her, as she rustled in her slumber. The red demon lay still, unmoving, waiting for the girl to finally wake seventy meters underwater; _deep down._

* * *

Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Asuka's memory of the dream faded, as she touched her lips. She didn't remember the whole dream, but she certainly remembered the feelings of someone else's lips on her own. Also remembering that Shinji was the only other person she saw from the bits and pieces that her memory _did_ collect, she removed her hand, looking at the fingers that had stroked her lips. _Stupid Shinji._ She clutched her chest, weeping dryly to herself. _Mama, what should I do?_


	18. God Spoke

**Stage Sixteen: God Spoke**

"Rei." A low voice called out.

Rei turned around slowly, looking into the shadows. A dark figure stepped forward, a figure she was all too familiar with, and one that she loathed. So much so, that she would rather go back to looking into the tank where her other selves floated; destroyed and broken. She would rather watch their dismembered limbs and organs dissolving and disintegrating in the liquid, than pay attention to the man before her. Yet, she listened anyway.

"I knew I'd find you here." Gendo Ikari remarked as he slowly came towards her. The look on his face was neither love nor hate, masking his true feelings beneath his glasses. "The time has come. Let's go."

_Ikari._ Rei stared at the man in front of her, only seeing his son in his dark figure. _I want to see Ikari. _She took one last look behind her, at her other selves which floated in the tank, before following the Commander to their final destination; Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Lounging Area. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

"Nothing personal here either." Misato repeated, her gun pressed underneath the JSDF's soldier's chin. Blood splattered across the wall as she pulled the trigger. "Now, let's get you to Unit 01." Misato said, catching her breath as she looked down at the soldier's corpse slumped against the wall. After a heartbeat, she grabbed Shinji's hand and dragged him behind her. "Come on."

* * *

Underground Garage. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

Misato changed frequencies on the radio she had confiscated from the JSDF soldier, trying to home in on a JSDF channel. At first, all she got was static, but after playing with the knob a few times more, she managed to get in bits of conversation. She pressed the soldier's headphones closer to her ear as she listened.

"...purple unit surrounded..." A broken voice was on the channel, though static blocked out most of what he was saying. "...Bakelite infusion was not a problem."

_Damn, they're trying to prevent contact between Shinji and Unit 01._ Misato clenched her teeth in thought. _We're running out of time._ She glanced over at the boy huddled in the corner next to her. "This is it Shinji." No response. Misato stood up, not in the mood for his behavior. "Do you want to run away, or do you want to pilot the Eva?" She asked, but still no response. "If you sit there and do nothing, then you're already dead!" She raised her voice, irritated.

"_Asuka... help me... Asuka..._" Shinji whispered, clutching himself tighter, not paying attention to what Misato was saying.

_This boy!_ "Hiding behind the skirt of a little girl at a time like this!?" Misato drew closer to Shinji. "Giving up halfway is worse than never trying at all!" She yelled, grabbing his arm. "Get up!" She pulled on his arm, but he didn't budge. "_Move it._" She pulled harder.

Shinji looked up at her, then back down at the ground. "I don't want to do anything." He replied softly, no motivation in his voice at all.

"Stop talking like a stubborn little brat!" Misato scolded, yanking on his arm and forcibly getting him on his feet. "Like it or not, you're still needed! Get moving and DO something!" She bent down to look into his face. "You can die later. Got it?" Shinji didn't respond, but he didn't resist as she loaded him into her car.

Misato got into the driver seat, stepping on the gas as soon as they were secure. _Please, make it in time!_

* * *

Cage 7. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

In her haste, Misato had swerved and crashed into a wall, totaling her car. _We'll have to continue on foot. _She looked over at the entrance to Cage 7, just as her phone rang.

"What is it?" She answered.

"Asuka's brain waves are showing signs of increased activity! She's starting to come awake!" Maya yelled on the other line, as bullets were heard ricocheting in the background; gunfire.

"_Asuka?!_" Misato responded in disbelief, but also hope. She turned to Shinji, who was staring at the wreck of her car. "Shinji, Asuka's ok! We have to hurry or she won't last long!"

_Asuka. _Shinji looked over, staring into the older woman's eyes. _I have to help her. _

"Tell Asuka to hang in there! Shinji will be in Unit 01 soon!"

"Yes!" Maya closed the call.

Misato tossed her phone, as it wasn't needed anymore. She looked back at the entrance to Cage 7, a look of distress on her face. _Please, let's make it in time._


	19. Listen To The Voice That Drowns You So

**Stage Seventeen: Listen To The Voice That Drowns You So**

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2016.

* * *

Asuka lay curled up in Unit 02's entry plug, rustling awake.

_Where...?_

She recognized the smell, even if her eyes were still adjusting to the lack of light.

_… the entry plug? Unit 02?_

Lifting her head, the last thing she had remembered was being in a medical bed. "I'm still alive?" She mumbled, trying to make sense of the situation. Just then, the entry plug shook as mines blew up all around Unit 02. She was jostled around, as they increased in magnitude and force. Screaming from the surprise attack, she hit her head on the back of the seat, and curled back into a ball. _I don't want to die._

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die." She whispered, gradually getting louder with each plea. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die." Her whispering turned into a repeated saying. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die."

Another voice called out in response, ricocheting all around her, causing a hollow echo. "I won't let you die." The voice said. "You mustn't die."

Asuka's pleas were becoming clearer and clearer, as she continued her saying. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die."

The voice continued in kind. "I won't let you die. You mustn't die." Then, the voice became different; more frantic. "Please, die with me!" Then it calmed down. "Don't kill her." It said, as if it were talking with itself. "She must live." The second voice laughed hysterically. "Die with me!" It called out, then the first responded. "You're still alive. I won't let you die. I will protect you." The two voices intertwined into one, as they were one and the same.

Asuka continued her pleas, the voice rolling over her own. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die."

"I won't let you die. Please, die with me! You mustn't die. Die with me! Don't kill her. I will protect you. Die, die, die! You're still alive. She must live. Please, die with me! I won't let you die. I will protect you. Die with me! She must live. Die! I won't let you die. You're still alive. Please, die with me! I will protect you. Die with me! I won't let you die."

Asuka couldn't take it anymore as she finally screamed her pleas. "_I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!_"

"_Please, die with me! I won't let you die. Die with me! __Don't kill her.__ I will protect you. You're still alive. Die, die, die! __Don't kill her.__ She must live. Die! I won't let you die. You mustn't die. I will protect you. Please, die with me! Die with me! Die! Die, die, die! I won't let you die. You mustn't die. I will protect you. Die with me! You're still alive. Die __with me__! She must live._"

"_I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_"

* * *

Asuka's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs in her sleep, clutching the patch on her left eye. It was faintly glowing blue, and immense pain shot through her body as she convulsed on her bed as her scream became a silent wail of anguish.

"What's the matter, Asuka?!" Misato was at the doorway, huffing from her haste at responding to Asuka's screams in the night. "Asuka?!" She saw Asuka squirming on the bed, holding the left side of her face, before she went still; blacking out. "_Asuka!_" Misato rushed over to her side, frantic and worried. _God dammit, what happened?! _She heard others gather near the doorway, as they had hear the commotion too. "Don't just stand there! Get a medical team here _now!" _Misato commanded, holding Asuka in her arms. Asuka's face had sweat pouring down, as if in a fever. _Come on, Asuka! Wake up! _Misato tapped her gently on the cheek, tears in her eyes.

"_Dammit Asuka, wake up!_" She called to the girl, as a medical team rushed to the scene and secured the area.

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2016.

* * *

"Mama!" Asuka called out, as she took a hold of her mother's warm hand. A tear formed at the corner of her left eye. "You've always been there, haven't you Mama?" _Now I understand, Mama! _"You've _always_ been with me Mama!"

Evangelion Unit 02 came to life, its four eyes glowing an ominous green as it came to surface, holding a JSDF destroyer above its head and letting out an inhuman howl of rage; the destroyer cracked along the middle from the strain of holding together. Asuka used the crumbling destroyer as a shield to ward off missiles barraging Unit 02 from the right side, and as soon as the barrage ended she tossed the destroyer at the tanks responsible, which had switched to their machine guns and were continuing to fire at her. The lake turned black from the oil of the now obliterated destroyed, and it reflected a red hue as the surface caught fire from the missiles exploding around the form of Unit 02; a demon in hellfire.

Unit 02 leapt into the air to avoid the brunt of the impacting missiles, then quickly dodged the ones that were locked on.

Asuka skillfully weaved her away around them. _I understand the meaning of the AT Field! _She soared into the sky, suspended in the air for a few seconds, the sun shining behind her. _Always protecting me! Always watching over me! _

Landing beside NERV Headquarters, Unit 02 flattened the ground beneath; uprooting trees and chunks of the earth. A missile slammed into Unit 02's head as it deflected another one with its left hand. Both missiles blew up, causing no harm to the red demon's form.

"We were always together, Mama!" Asuka said joyously, as the ground below her burned all around. She pushed Unit 02 forward for the main JSDF forces. The JSDF forces fired at her, severing the umbilical cable that kept Unit 02 operational. Asuka laughed, not concerned at all. "Even without my umbilical cable, I've still got twelve thousand plates of fortified armor!" She smirked, getting closer to the main JSDF forces. Airborne units intercepted her, but she swiped them away. "And, I've got my AT Field!" She yelled, as her AT Field activated and destroyed the remaining units. Reinforcements came in an attempt to destroy her. She slammed Unit 02's fist into one of the approaching units, and as it spun she grabbed its tail. "There's no way I can lose!" Swinging the helpless unit like a bat, she destroyed another unit, then tossed the remains at a third. "Not to you _bastards!_" A fourth and a fifth came, as she smashed them out of the sky with a combination of kicks. All around her, the debris from the destroyed units blazed with yellow and orange flames, as Unit 02 stood in the center. "_Not with __Mama watching over me!_"

* * *

Emergency Medical Testing Room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Asuka lay secure on a metal table, as doctors in anti radiation suits gathered around her. She had shown no signs of her pain like an hour earlier, and instead was now breathing quietly.

Misato was still worried, standing behind the bullet proof glass that separated the operation room from the observation room. "Ritsuko, what's wrong with her, you think?"

Ritsuko crossed her arms beside her friend, as she stared at the sleeping girl on the other side of the glass. "Remember those dreams I was talking about?"

Misato turned to her, "What about them?" She asked impatiently.

"It appears Asuka is more affected by the dreams than the rest of us."

"What do you mean?" Misato glanced back at Asuka before going back to Ritsuko. "Are you saying that those dreams are causing her pain?"

Ritsuko turned to Maya, who was collecting data on her laptop. "Maya, how's that analysis coming along?"

"Almost complete. Should have it all mapped out in a few minutes." She replied, typing away.

Ritsuko looked back at Misato, who was still waiting for an answer. "What I'm saying, is that whatever dream she is having, it has to be something significant to have affected her like it did."

Misato touched her hand on the glass, clutching her crossed shaped pendant close to her chest. _Just like with my father back then. _She thought, remembering that right after she had a dream involving her father, she had started to cry as soon as she woke up the following morning. Though, all she could remember from the dream was something about her father and Second Impact, but that was enough for her. _Asuka..._

Asuka lay secure on the metal table, as the dream continued, which seemed all too real to be just a simple dream.

_ Mama..._


	20. Yet Staggering, Step Forward

**Stage Eighteen: Yet Staggering, Step Forward  
**

* * *

Misato's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Sprawled out on her bed, Misato held Pen Pen in her arms, staring at the ceiling. "Hey Pen Pen." The bird tilted its head in response. "Do you think Asuka will be alright?" Pen Pen just buried his head into her shoulder, as if to say "_It'll be alright, don't worry_". "Yeah, I guess you're right." Misato stroked his head, smiling softly. _Hopefully, you're right._

* * *

Cage 7. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

Just across the walkway, the entrance leading to the elevator was clear, as Misato pulled Shinji along. His eyes were downcast, as he refused to look forward.

_I want to help Asuka. I really do, yet..._ Shinji looked down at his free arm, hanging limply at his side. _I don't want to face her again. Not like this. Not now. I want to help her, though. I really, really do. _He continued to stare down, now moving from his hand to the ground. Suddenly, he realized that the floor had stopped moving, as they had reached the entrance.

Misato stared up at the entrance, the letters above it reading "_Emergency Elevator. R-10-20. No Admittance Except To Authorized Personnel. For Emergency Use Only". _"This is it." She confirmed, as she heard movement on the deck below. Without hesitation, she shielded Shinji will her body as bullets hit the walls all around them. She pushed him inside as she was hit in the lower back, near the kidneys, and in her upper back right after, near her lungs. Ignoring the pain as best she could, she surged after him through the entrance, just as the JSDF soldiers down below launched a rocket to finish them off.

The blast doors shut behind them, the rocket impacting against it and causing a dent. Misato leaned against the wall, holding her side, which was bleeding out. "That should hold them off for a while." She smiled at Shinji, who was now watching her. With effort, she stood up straight, grimacing at the pain. "Don't worry Shin, it's not as bad as it looks." She reassured, not too convincingly as she stumbled towards the elevator controls. Pressing a series of buttons, she tried her best to keep herself steady. The blast door protecting the elevator parted as she entered pressed the last key. _Good, it still works. _She smirked, before looking over at Shinji. "The power is still on. There's still time." She told him, as she backed him against the wire fence still blocking off the elevator. She let onto the fence firmly, her hands bloody.

Shinji stared at her hands. _Misato. Why are you going so far?_ He bowed his head, not wanting to look her in the face. _For someone like me?_

"Shin, listen to me." Misato bent down to look at him. "From now on, you're on your own. You'll have to make your own decisions."

"I.." Shinji's voice was barely audible. "I can't." He didn't look up. "I can't pilot Eva if all I do is hurt and kill people. I thought I had no choice but to pilot Eva, but I was just lying to myself." His voice became more audible as he talked. "I'm not worthy of piloting an Eva because I don't understand anything! I'm incapable of doing anything good for anybody else!" He took a gasp, before continuing. "I did something terrible to Asuka! I killed Kaworu! I'm a horrible person, dishonest and a coward!" He clutched the wire fence, trembling slightly. "_All I ever do is hurt other people, so I'd rather do nothing at all!_"

"I'm _not_ going to feel _sorry_ for you." Misato replied. "If you don't like feeling pain, then you can just sit here and _die_." He started to cry. "And crying won't do _anything_, either!" Misato raised her voice, but then drew back, fully understanding now. "You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know you suffer more when you cause someone else pain, than if you just let yourself get hurt." Misato tightened her grip on the wire fence, drawing closer to him. "But, Shinji, that was YOUR decision, so that makes it a valid choice! That was what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile." She smiled as best she could, wincing from the bullet wounds to her back. "So stop lying to yourself, and realize, that you DO have options! Then, accept the choices you've made."

"_But you're not ME!_" Shinji screamed in response, his voice shaking. "_YOU don't understand!_ _YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH!_"

With that outburst, Misato lost her patience. "_SO FUCKING WHAT IF I'M NOT YOU?!_" She yelled, slamming him against the wire fence; she didn't even care about the pain anymore. "_THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO GIVE UP!_" She grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to look into her eyes. "If you do, I'll NEVER forgive you as long as live!" She was trembling now. "God knows I'm not perfect _either!_ I've made _tons_ of stupid mistakes and later I regretted them! And I've done it over and over and over again! A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But, even so, every time _I learned something about myself!_" She managed to regain control of herself. "Please, Shinji. You've got to pilot Unit 01 and settle this once and for all." She caressed his cheeks, smiling softly. "Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all. And when you've found your answers, come back to me." She took his hand in hers, closing her cross shaped pendant inside his palm. "Promise me, alright?" She leaned forward, pressing her lips onto his. After a second or two, she leaned back again. "That was a grown up kiss." She whispered into his ear, "We'll do the rest when you get back." She finished, pressing the release button on the elevator controls, and pushing him inside. Smiling, she watched Shinji as the blast door closed in front of her. _Good luck, Shinji._

Misato stumbled as she tried to move, leaning against the elevator control panel. The buttons dug into her back as she slumped against the wall. She slide down to the ground, her blood lining the wall all the way down.

"_If I would have known it would end like this, I would have changed the carpet like Asuka suggested._" She smirked weakly, staring at the blood that was pooling at her waist. She felt it soak her clothes. "_Right, Pen Pen?_" Feeling the blood reach her upper torso, she coughed up blood. "_I did the right thing, didn't I?_" Her blood seeped into her hair and onto the side of her face, she could feel how warm it was as she weakly raised her head. "_Didn't I? Kaji?_" She asked aloud, as the world went dim and the last thing she saw was an image of her father, holding her in his arms with her mother beside them.

_Didn't I... Father?_

* * *

Misato's room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

Misato woke up with tears in her eyes, as she felt Pen Pen rustle in his sleep beside her. _They're warm. _She stared at the ceiling, letting her lukewarm tears flow freely down her cheeks. _Why are they so warm...? _


	21. Answers Soaked In Red

**Stage Nineteen: Answers Soaked In Red**

* * *

Emergency Medical Testing Room. Matsushiro Primary Testing Facility. 2020.

* * *

"I can't figure out the cause." Ritsuko stood looking down at the sleeping Asuka, holding a cup of warm coffee.

"About Asuka's condition?" Maya asked, still typing away on her laptop.

"No, these dreams."

Maya looked up from her data collecting, "Should I keep collecting data for the analysis, or...?"

Ritsuko glanced over at the First Lieutenant, an arm underneath the one she was holding the coffee with for support. "No, don't stop collecting data," she took a sip. "If anything, I want to at least have _something._" Turning back to the glass, she went back to watching Asuka sleep. _These dreams, they come back to you in bits and pieces, and depending on what happens inside the dream, it affects you in different ways. _Remembering a dream about her mother, she took another sip of her coffee. _From what I remember, it was around the time the Magi system __was completed. Though, there was something different about the whole thing – it wasn't something I remembered ever talking about with Mother. _Ritsuko sighed, setting down her cup of coffee. She turned to leave, and as she reached the door she called back to Maya, who was still working. "I'll be back shortly, keep collecting data."

"_Yes!_" Maya affirmed, concentrated on her work.

* * *

NERV Headquarters. Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01. Unknown amount of time.

* * *

He was appalled, he was enraged, he was confused, he was upset, he was helpless. Shinji stood in his bubble, watching himself stare at the blood trickling from his mouth.

_Misato's blood. _He thought, as he watched himself cry. _She..._

* * *

Cage 7. NERV Headquarters. 2016.

* * *

Shinji stared at the blood he'd wiped from his chin, smearing it all over the cross shaped pendant that Misato had given him. _Misato... _He clutched the pendant tightly, touching his lips where she had pressed hers. She was dead, he was sure of it.

As the elevator went up and up, further towards the sky, he decided something then and there. He wasn't going to let anyone else close to him die. At least, that was the only thing he could do; not let anyone else die for someone as worthless as himself. Yet, was he really worthless, if so many believed in him and spurred him forward? Acceptance, would he find it? Love, would he have it? Life, would he keep it? Would he save it? He didn't know, clutching the pendant so hard that he cut into his hand, all he knew was that it wouldn't happen again. It had started with Rei, and he resolved within himself, it would end with Misato. He can still save Asuka, if he makes it in time.

_Please..._ He stared at the headlight on the ceiling of the elevator. _Make it in time..._

* * *

Near the center of the GeoFront. 2016.

* * *

Asuka looked up at the nine white forms circling above, as they screeched down at her with bloodlust. She took a sharp breath as she realized what they were and what they meant. "The Eva Series..." she blinked, taking in the nine forms all at once in her field of view. "It's been _completed..._"

The Evas laughed, circling above, like a pack of hyenas ready to take down their prey.


End file.
